Part 1. Question. I can’t put my daughter to sleep, she jumps on the bed, harasses my husband and me, asking me for a drink or a pee. Only after this, my heart-rending screams, and sometimes spanks on the butt, I manage to put her down, I feel like a real monster! My strength is already running out! Help me please! Evgenia. Answer: Hello, Evgenia! Let's look at standard ways to solve this problem. Let's look at each point in order. Sequence. The same sequence of necessary actions simplifies the laying process for all participants and makes them easier to learn. Consistency. The developed ritual requires less and less effort both on your part and on the part of the child, and gives the brain the necessary signal to calm the nervous system. At the beginning, let one of the family members who enjoys greater authority with the child take over the organization of bedtime. Pleasant bonuses .The best way to do this is to read fairy tales. It can also be stroking the child’s back, singing lullabies and other pleasantries. The classic way of putting a child to bed can look like this: 10 minutes before the start of bed, one of the relatives warns the child that his activity is ending. For greater clarity and efficiency, it is very useful to use an hourglass that is placed in front of the child. Next, the child goes to the bathroom. Water has a very good relaxing effect. after that - putting on pajamas, then brushing your teeth. And after that comes the most pleasant thing - reading fairy tales by mom or dad. It was the custom in my family that every evening until I was about 8 years old, I read fairy tales to my son every evening. I had no problems putting my son to bed at all. Now he is 12 years old, and he still asks me to read to him, only now I read him parables - a storehouse of wisdom and a reason to communicate with my son together. For preschool children, color pictures are very helpful, on which plots are drawn with actions that are necessary commit. You hang these pictures in a visible place until the skill is established. Part 2 Question: My child does not sleep well, turns around, cries out several times a night. I have to take it to my husband’s bed, where he calms down and falls asleep. He says that he is afraid to sleep alone. What should we do in this situation? Answer: If a child sleeps restlessly, then first you need to rule out various biological causes, that is, find out if the child has any diseases. Common causes of restless sleep in a physically healthy child are as follows: Emotional overload. Events occur in a child’s life that he is unable to rethink, or they are too intense for him: parents’ divorce, moving, etc. This child needs time and your support to recover. It also happens that, carried away by the mental development of the child, parents attend one circle after another, without giving him time for free play at home or in the yard. Insufficient motor activity. A city child very often does not have enough space and situations where he would spontaneously move a lot. As a result, by the evening the child’s body does not receive sufficient physical fatigue. Swimming is very calming and properly tires a child. A sleep disorder is a signal of mental ill-being, which the child can no longer cope with. It happens that there are no visible reasons for a sleep disorder, or they existed a long time ago, but the child continues to experience suffering. In this case, it is better for you to contact a child psychologist or family consultant in order to figure it out and help the child in time, before this becomes a stable personality trait. The child guides you in this way. Once in your bed, the child thereby raises himself in status, laying claim to the parent's bed. And the parental subsystem itself is higher in status than the children's. A distraction from more serious family problems. Exhausted parents are no longer able to sort out their conflicts. AND. .