When a family has a child suffering from a chronic disease or a child born with some developmental anomalies, then from the point of view of medicine, the family begins to be considered as a conductor of favorable and unfavorable influences. Each relative receives a list of instructions, instructions, obligations, to get acquainted with the exact prescriptions of the doctor, and is often “sentenced” to lifelong adherence to certain rules without a long-term prognosis. The family itself ceases to be a living and developing organism, gradually turning into a static therapeutic team. All the needs and desires of family members fade into the background, and care for one of its members comes first. A terrible diagnosis of a child is an acute and traumatic factor for everyone, it changes everyone’s life and, of course, requires the introduction of new special rules observed in everyday life . But is such help, consistent with the doctor’s orders, always beneficial to the child and his environment? At the moment when family members learn and realize the fact that the child has a chronic or congenital disease, their experiences are similar to those experienced during a period of acute grief or loss. Emotional instability, reactions of a psychosomatic nature, mental suffering, changes in behavior, depression, neurasthenia, insomnia and other disorders - this is not a complete list of possible external and internal manifestations. The desire to disguise the severity of experiences from others often leads to the inability to survive this truly difficult moment. Subsequently, all the unshed tears, all the anger become accompanying people, walking alongside you throughout life’s journey. In addition, the birth of a child with special needs makes parents feel guilty for what happened. The inability to accept the situation as it is pushes them to self-destruction, torture and punishment of themselves. The emergence of anger and aggression towards your spouse is possible. The child, who is always a small family antenna, senses hidden anger and irritation and begins to blame himself for what is happening in the family. The desire to quickly relieve relatives of their emotional burden, the desire to free loved ones and give them the opportunity to live and enjoy life - in no way contributes to recovery or a positive prognosis. And in fact, we are dealing with a family system in which “everyone for everyone else” experiences continuous suffering. But what happens if we give time to family members to experience the pain that lies deep in the soul of everyone? How scary would it be to share your worries and fears with your spouse? How long can it take to talk with other children and clarify the current situation? It is very important to take the first step - to give yourself the right to grieve. Many parents believe that you should not show your weakness at such moments. It is important to understand that this is not a manifestation of weakness - but a recognition of a simple person who needs support, who is capable of feelings and feels. Only by making the problem public can we understand how to proceed. Only by learning about the experiences and fears of each family member can we cope with them. By accepting the illness as a fait accompli, it will be much easier for the family to create conditions for the further development of the family as a whole, and each of its members in particular. Forewarned is forearmed. It is important to remember that accepting the fact of a child’s illness is often hampered by the belief that the diagnosis was made in error; one should not forget about “bargaining with the disease,” expressed in the hope of a miracle, a life-saving treatment method, or persuasion “you give me I will give you.” In that The moment when the fact of illness is accepted in the “here and now,” the family may face a situation of “stigmatization.” The label “family with a disabled/sick/incapacitated person” gradually forces society to distance itself and become alienated. Everything that is not familiar to us scares us. At the genetic level, every person has a survival program. In ancient times the weak members of the pack!