And you believe it? And you don't want to change this situation? If you think that this is the norm, then it is not so. If it seems to you that this is like everyone else, then it only seems to you. And what difference does it make, like everyone else, there should be no violence in your life. Physical violence, unfortunately, is a very relevant topic in our society. It would seem that there is nothing more to say about this - you need to leave, there are no other options. Yes, indeed, this is exactly what relatives, friends, social service and police workers, psychologists - everyone who is aware of the situation advise. How to leave? Where? With what? And then what? And the problem is not only and not so much in the material side of the issue. The main problem is psychological violence, without which there would not be physical violence, and sometimes it doesn’t even exist. And what should we do in such a situation? Let's start by understanding the definitions of concepts. Violence is: – the use of physical force against someone; forcible influence on someone, violation of personal integrity; oppression, lawlessness (Ozhegov S.I.); – the use by an individual or a social group of various (up to armed force) forms of coercion in relation to other individuals, social groups with the aim of acquiring or maintaining economic and political dominance, winning certain rights and privileges (Psychological Dictionary).If we consider part of this problem - domestic violence, then it is clear that psychological violence is an imbalance of power of one over the other (others). Violence of this kind is carried out to varying degrees (from light - almost imperceptible to total) and by various psychological methods (orders, manipulation). It is necessary to understand that the basis of any violence is the tyrant’s control over the victim. Example 1 – control over thinking. A husband who can allow his wife not to work and provides for her in everything believes that he, the successful one, can control everything in her life: what she reads, what music she listens to, what films/TV shows she watches. He imposes on her those life principles and attitudes that will meet his interests: “a smart woman should obey a man in everything”, “a good wife should not meet her husband in a bad mood”, etc. Example 2 - control over behavior. A “caring” husband controls all his wife’s actions, he is aware of her plans; she reports for every step, for every conversation on the phone, for every purchase in the store; for every choice she makes (if it allows her to make a choice at all); he adjusts her social circle: “I should always know: where you were, with whom and why for so long.” Example 3 - control over emotions. The tyrant uses various types of “dirty” manipulation techniques in order to evoke certain emotions, both positive and negative. He provokes the victim into actions that are beneficial to him, “playing” on feelings of duty, guilt, and shame. The victim increasingly feels worthless, stupid, dependent, selfish, ungrateful, etc. A tyrant can even put on the mask of a “deprived victim”: “I do so much for you, and you...” How to recognize that you are being made a victim? Distinguishing psychological tyranny from real care can be difficult. Focus on your feelings. If you are haunted by a feeling of guilt towards your partner, but at the same time you cannot clearly understand why exactly you feel guilty, this is a sure sign that you are being subjected to psychological violence. If you do not do what you want, and you are ashamed to admit your desires, you are subject to psychological pressure. If you are asked about everything personal and in detail, and then your tastes, decisions, actions are criticized - this is psychological violence. What to do? Don't wait in hopes that everything will change. Don't allow yourself to be convinced that everything is fine - that it's your fault. As soon as you realize that there is a tyrant next to you, you need to leave. You need to find support - a person (people) who will help you in your decision to leave, who will help you protect yourself from communicating with the former tyrant. Contact specialists (lawyers, psychologists/psychotherapists,.