One person asked me: “How to live in constant stress? I constantly have to worry, either about my health, or about my children, or about my cats, or about something else...” I wanted to ask: why do I have to? Who is forcing you to do this? Yes, our lives are filled with constant stress. But how to experience them, a person decides for himself. Either “get stuck” in worries, or live constructively, with minimal damage to yourself. Let's consider the option when it is beneficial to get stuck in worries and live in constant stress. Stress allows you to “occupy” your mind: there is something to constantly think about, lament, and even blame someone, sometimes even everyone and everything. This happens because when there are no problems, there is no stress that you can constantly think about, then there is a chance of meeting yourself. And this is oh how scary! Often such a meeting brings anxiety, because it is not clear what you want, what you feel, what you have achieved, what are your goals in life, and is there an answer to the important question about the meaning of life: what am I living for? Therefore, it is easier to choose to think and worry about others, about what is happening around: politics, medicine, economics, etc. This choice (most often unconscious) is a defense against our more disturbing, frightening experiences. Of course, this could have manifested itself since childhood as a result of lack of support, love, or reflection from parents. Perhaps even the very expression of one’s feelings and desires was prohibited; one had to learn to show emotional coldness in relation to one’s needs. Which led to internal frozenness, insensitivity to oneself and one’s desires, and overall fear of hearing oneself, of meeting you. What else is beneficial to “living in constant stress”? • The emotional state of tension responds to tension in the body, which gives the sensations “I am”, “I am alive”. • Striving to solve other people's problems allows you to gain confirmation of your worth. • This is also an opportunity to criticize someone openly: everyone is bad (the state, politicians, sellers, etc.), and this, in turn, also gives you the opportunity to join a group of people who are also dissatisfied with something. One of the important human needs is to belong, to be part of a group of people. • There are always topics for conversation about how hard life is. • Stress provokes illnesses that divert attention to oneself, allowing one to ignore true needs, which may be worth “mourning” as unfulfilled and listening to one’s other needs. What can you do about it? Make your own independent choice: to worry or not to worry, to worry about others or not. After all, the experiences themselves do not affect what is happening in any way, because... it happens inside a person. Determine your benefit (or benefits) that you receive by constantly worrying, “living in stress.” And this may become the very answer: what do I really want? If, for example, you realized that you are choosing to worry about someone else (I’m worried about you, you’re doing everything wrong, I’m stressed because of you...), then you want to be important, necessary for this person. At this moment, resistance may appear: no, no, I don’t need this, I really care about the well-being of the other person! Or anxiety and fear will arise: how will I get it? What if I’m actually not such an important person for him/her? How can I ask, clarify, discuss this with that person? This is where you show that very concern for your well-being: take care of yourself. Hear yourself, understand yourself, look for what you want. And learn to ask for it. Then you won’t have to live in constant stress - because suddenly you will begin to receive what brings you joy, pleasure and peace of mind!