From the author: Intrapersonal conflicts are unconscious phenomena and last for a long time. They manifest themselves in certain behaviors and experiences. Every person has intrapersonal conflicts. Intrapersonal conflicts are worked through in the process of psychotherapy. When conflicts are worked through, the quality of life changes! A person realizes his plans and goals. According to OPD-2 (Operationalized Psychodynamic Diagnostics), there are 7 intrapersonal conflicts. This article is dedicated to conflict 4. NARCISSISTIC CONFLICT OR CONFLICT OF SELF-ESTEEM (second in importance) Characteristic for everyone, but when intensified, throwing, instability, extremes are characteristic: “I am the last letter in the alphabet” (I am with -!, “I am in a hole”). “I am everything” (I am with +!, “I must be on top”). A healthy person knows how to find a middle ground. The leading affect is shame (passive mode). It is necessary to distinguish from feelings of guilt. There are affects of irritation, narcissistic rage, maybe aggression towards the psychotherapist (active mode) In the passive mode “I am nothing”, “I am nothing of myself” In the active mode Usually - overcompensation for one’s own self-doubt, but self-confident (outwardly), but this is pseudo-self-confidence. Relationships with a partner In the passive mode Very often there are stable relationships in the family with a partner, there is often a common history of humiliation (Dostoevsky), for example, humiliation in childhood. They choose such a partner that they experience humiliation (“The Brothers Karamazov”), there is clearly a masochistic component. A negative self-image dominates in the active mode. The choice of an object, as a rule, follows the principle of a self-object, which should be nourished and admired. They tend to divide the world into friends and enemies. Relations in the parental family In the passive mode As a rule, a negative self-image dominates in the family (Marmeladov family) - “you can do whatever you want with us” - belittling your own family. With severe violations, they feel that their parents were like this, and they should be like this. Stable relationships in the family, a general history of humiliation and resentment. In the active mode, either the parental family is idealized - “he is a worthy offspring of the family,” or another option - the family is forced out, and he is ashamed of it. Attitudes to work In the passive mode They achieve great results in work, very efficient. If one is demoted or humiliated, this can provoke the appearance of symptoms. In the active mode: Overestimation of one’s own achievements, if a person makes mistakes, they are attributed to others. Patients are painfully touchy; if there are problems at work, they usually don’t talk about it. Attitude towards property In the passive mode Possessing property does not guarantee the narcissist satisfaction or stability, but it can give a feeling of anxiety, a feeling of shame for having it .In the active mode, the attitude towards property helps to assert oneself, becomes an attribute of self-confidence, fetishes of wealth are important (for example, expensive watches, an expensive phone). Relations with society In the passive mode In the group, he finds what he does not receive in life in terms of self-esteem, but finds a subordinate position in the group and is limited to this group, does not look for a new one, the main thing is belonging. In the active mode It is the satisfaction of the narcissistic need to confirm their status, everything serves self-affirmation, to confirm their belonging, for example, photos with stars, autographs. Body care, body cult. Attitude towards the body, sexuality In the passive mode They are dissatisfied with their body and try to improve it in various ways (plastic surgery, exhausting training, etc.) In the active mode Constantly inflated demands are placed on the body, to be young, beautiful, attractive . Characterized by imitation of idols, the desire to be like them. One's own sexual potency and attractiveness are overestimated. Attitude to illness In the passive mode If an accident or injury occurs, one of the reasons is the feeling.