Since most of my clients are women with queries about health and family, I usually create posts using women’s examples. But recently, the situation has changed, and today I can share cases from practice that men also have their own psychosomatic strategies and their ways of influencing the health of the family. Undoubtedly, women are more emotional and their influence is much more intense, but..." male dads" with a hint of emotional suppression can set their own pace. Let's create character X. And so, character X has a huge need for love, and he feels this love, along with its significance, when his wife is at home with the child, and he knows what they are doing and at what time. It’s not a fact that these are his wife’s wishes, but it’s important for him that she wants it that way. That is, dad is the controller! How does X begin to behave? X begins to manipulate the health and capabilities of the family. He can emphasize how gorgeous his wife is, and how women are not in demand in the world around him, he can emphasize how bad and lonely they will be, and without him they will not survive in this world. And now, being tense from the father’s behavior, and suppressing their desires so as not to upset him, the family begins to get sick. This is the only way for children to gain a kind of freedom, and for parents to have confidence that their wife and children are at home. Usually X is also very sick, because feelings of anxiety and hypercontrol do not have the best effect on the father’s life. VSD, diabetes, maybe even excess weight - all this betrays a CARING family man who really wants to tie his family to himself, and “God forbid these shitheads leave me.” WHAT TO DO? If you recognize yourself in X, you should contact a psychologist; such situations are not easy to handle! But first, you can simply allow yourself to be loved, and not only by someone, but by yourself! Next time, as if sacrificing yourself for the sake of children, wife and dog in the next door, think about what you really want! If it's praise, state it directly! And preferably tell me how you want to receive it! If you want beer, well, beer today. If you are the wife or child of X! Here you should pay attention to the feeling of guilt and responsibility to a good father, because most likely, this feeling is imposed on you, and is supported in every possible way! You have the right to choose and give your parent the opportunity to learn to understand themselves better, not with the help of someone, but on their own. You cannot be grateful for what you may not need, and for the fact that the other person does what, just because he wants to! In fact, this is just one facet of the situation! Because if a family is sick, then everyone needs it to some extent! Someone will benefit, someone will survive, someone will overcome their fears, and someone will receive love. With love for your sores, sexologist, psychosomatologist, family coach, Tatyana Pavlenko #hyperopeca #Healthy_psychosomatics