I wandered around the house in one of my worst states. It seemed unfair to me that life was so difficult. I felt terribly sorry for myself, because I had to perform a number of painful actions at work: and not at all in order to buy myself an extra dress. For survival, come hell or high water. But I didn’t want to do anything... Because: there’s no point. Well, plug this “hole”. So you will have to lift yourself with the same effort to shut up the next one. And there is a financial crisis in the country, and there is a slushy autumn in my soul. No light. What kind of life is this, by God? But! I have a psychologist living inside me. Nice lady, by the way. Smart. In such situations, she enters into a dialogue with me: “Wait,” she says. Well, it’s not the first time you’ve been in this state? - It’s not the first time?!!!!! Yes, I’ve been wallowing in it for half my life! “Oh, life is hard! Oh, how reluctant I am to do anything!” Do you want to give examples? - Of course I would, I’m interested! I gave a couple. - Mmm... Key words: Hard and Difficult. The actions you need to take seem overwhelming to you. Moreover, it is always about interaction with people. Why is this so hard for you? - It’s hard? - I thought.... - Because... because it’s scary. It's scary to do these things. It's scary that people will refuse or judge. It's scary, that's why it's difficult. It’s better not to do it than to stumble upon this Condemnation. This is the essence of procrastination: procrastinating and not doing anything, just to avoid experiencing these nasty emotions. The psychologist, of course, did not calm down. She turned on the “so what?” technique. Well, they’ll refuse, well, they’ll condemn... So what? - Oooooh... it’s turned on!!! Nothing!!!! No way! It’s scary and that’s it!!!! The “and what” technique always ends with this, I know... - Well, with... Do you remember how we were taught?! Look for History. When did you present yourself to the world in such a way as a child that you were judged? Well? - Oh, yes, there are a hundred thousand of them! - The earliest, of course, of those that you remember! - Otherwise, you don’t know!? I have told this story to everyone a hundred times! Well, like when I was 5 years old, in kindergarten, during a walk, I sat the children on the veranda, let down my hair and sang. I was Alla Pugacheva, remember? The children listened and clapped... And then the teacher refused to braid me and I appeared before my mother as a garden scarecrow. And my mother didn’t scold me. For some reason, she was generally calm about my concert activities. It’s a common thing - I sing to the entire trolleybus, sitting in her arms. Everyone smiles and mom too. But here is the teacher! My beloved teacher, by the way, was dissatisfied with me in this story. - Well... look at your memory. What does it look like now? - Hmm... I’m standing in front of the veranda and don’t even want to gather the children. I know that I will be punished. I choose to be an ordinary child, not Alla Pugacheva. It’s easier that way. -Well!!! Isn't this the same thing that you experience now, in your adult life? You walk around the apartment, don’t get things done, choose “what’s easier”... You’re afraid to interact with people... Why is it so difficult? You were small: you weren’t afraid of anyone, you organized concerts! Yoshki! I am 41 years old! I have hundreds of trainings, speeches, and consultations under my belt. And I'm still scared. And this is not a rational fear. Because in fact, there is nothing wrong with the actions that need to be taken. In 20 years of my activity, no one has ever condemned me or expressed “despicable fu” to me. The Fear that I feel now is the fear of a little five-year-old girl. Fear that they will be punished. It always turns on in such cases. Crap! An adult aunt with the reactions of a Child. This work with myself gave me the opportunity to gain a special insight into what I have known for a long time: WHAT WE EXPERIENCE HARDLY IN ADULT LIFE IS ALWAYS A FLASHBACK FROM CHILDHOOD. There our reaction was formed, which does not allow us to perceive the current situation as ordinary, calmly resolved. There, as a child, the child was confused, scared, decided to keep a low profile, felt guilty, offended or angry. Now, IN ADULT LIFE, EVERYTHING IS NOT SO SCARY AND NOT SO DIFFICULT. EVERYTHING IS SOLVED. Everyone understands this with their heads. But you can’t command your brains. The brain reacts the way it is accustomed to reacting since childhood. When I'm inside!