From the author: The original article caused a lot of controversy, and my thoughts developed into a separate article. Recently I read an article in one of the magazines in which a very interesting, in my opinion, concept was voiced about the “realness” of men and women, in the form as modern society understands them. The article said that, in principle, there are no male and female behavior. That a “real masculine act” is nothing more than a camouflage of one’s neuroticism, uncertainty about one’s authenticity as a man or a woman, in one’s gender. The fear of being “unreal” is instilled by parents from early childhood, as a way of subordinating one’s will, or as a way of avoiding uncomfortable questions. In fact, all the boys were told: “You can’t hit girls.” Why - weak, defenseless, but in every kindergarten group there was a girl who was larger and physically stronger than the boys. But you can’t beat her either because she’s a girl. This raises many questions to which parents simply put the “not allowed under any circumstances” taboo. Then this extends to the fact that one cannot fight, because a “real” man, a human being, a boy does not fight, but protects. But how can you protect someone if aggression is taboo? This prohibition is very well shown in “Fight Club”, in the scene where members of the community force ordinary citizens to commit aggression. They need to achieve retaliatory aggression by any means. I think if this were a real society, many of the club members would not cope with the task. Because a “good” person, both a boy and a girl, does not fight and “everything can be resolved with words.” By the way, for girls, it seems to me, everything is even more complicated. Any activity is suppressed - don’t call, don’t go, don’t do. Girls have no fewer such taboos than men, and they are more clearly defined. If a boy has a way to bypass the prohibition of aggression: for example, throw a stone on the sly so that no one finds out, then how can you call someone or point out so that no one finds out? But let’s get back to the point: what is “real male/female behavior” "? Everyone immediately comes up with this or that image, phrases, excerpts from films. But how much of this behavior is truly sexual? For example, a duck performs certain rituals in order to copulate, to raise offspring, and to obtain food. She cannot do otherwise - these actions are embedded in her brain. All that is associated with the mating season is sexual behavior, which is different in males and females. It is controlled by hormonal levels and brain activity. What does a person have? Boys are more aggressive, curious, able to achieve a narrowly focused goal, physically developed and active throughout their lives. Women are more resilient in situations of stress, more emotionally stable, able to do several things at the same time. What does this depend on: women have a more developed corpus callosum, less testosterone, more energy reserves (the fat that everyone so wants to get rid of), less blood volume, and This means less load on the body, but also lower pressure. That is, all of the above are biological factors. That is, it is these abilities that distinguish a man from a woman, along with primary and secondary sexual characteristics. No one will say about a woman that she is a man because of the narrowness of her hips or small breasts. Behavior is more variable, but this is precisely what society tends to label at the slightest deviation from the stereotypes accepted in this society. There are still peoples in the world whose roles, from a European point of view, are performed in reverse. No, men remain more aggressive, and women grasp the situation in general, but the rituals - who stays at home, who marries whom - are exactly the opposite. And we know about matriarchy not only from science fiction books. In many countries, women serve on an equal basis with men, and men make careers as dancers and makeup artists. People generally do not have instinctive behavior that dictates certain forms of action, therefore there cannot be purely male or purely female behavior, actions, gestures. So canons of masculinity and