People with this type of attachment have difficulty building close relationships because they experience strong internal contradictions. On the one hand, they want love and close relationships, but at the same time they are afraid of intimacy and resist, so they run away from relationships or avoid family life. Their resistance is based on the fear of rejection; they have already been traumatized in childhood, growing up in an atmosphere of physical, mental or sexual abuse. Also, an anxious-avoidant type of attachment can develop in response to the mother’s excessive overprotection, when in a relationship the mother tries to absorb the child and strives for complete fusion with him. Of course, you can try to “cure” a person with an anxious-avoidant attachment type with your attention, patience, love, but remember that in this case you are the one who forcibly causes “good”. Because your partner did not request therapy from you. If a person lives for 20-40 years in such patterns of relationships, this means that he is satisfied with everything, he has no internal need to change. Otherwise, it would have taken him so many years to become a psychotherapist. Most psychotherapists agree that the formed type of attachment cannot be changed, but you can consciously learn to react differently. Consciously! Patterns of behavior can be changed only if the person HIMSELF has realized their ineffectiveness and HIMSELF is ready to change for the sake of some goal. Anxious-avoidant attachment type is characterized by a negative image of Self and a negative image of Others (I am not OK, You are not OK). Often such people do not realize that it is they who create problems in close relationships, their childhood traumas are constantly reminded of themselves and are transferred to your relationships in the present, and accordingly you will be “bad”. When a person with an anxious-avoidant attachment style runs away from a relationship or ignores you, he does not think about your feelings, he does not think about what is hurting you, he thinks only about himself, the traumas of the past completely absorb him. If you are attracted to people with this type of attachment, then you should think about what internal needs of yours are met in these relationships? What role do you play in this relationship? Your psychologist Tsvetkova Tatyana. You can sign up for a consultation via WhatsApp messages 8981-155-39-20.