The absence of a father is a great trauma, but it is customary not to talk about it. Often this story concerns several generations. And its pattern is so closely intertwined with a woman’s traumas that people who have created strong families should be truly proud of themselves. But if your path was through solo parenting, I invite you to respect this even more difficult and no less worthy path. Fathers receive significantly less attention than mothers, and only when the father was present. The child has a need for care from all participants in the process of his creation. The story of a child begins with the unification of a man and a woman and their families. And this serves as the key to the necessary, safe conditions for the development of a new person. First of all, the absence of a father in the family can hit the mother. When a woman has to be both mom and dad. Sometimes this role is occupied by the woman’s parents, when the grandmother or grandfather acts instead of the child’s father. This happens for many reasons, often not visible at first glance. This is not anyone’s fault, but rather the volume of tasks that have not been resolved in the process of creating a new life. Disturbances in the family system, trauma, lack of awareness about sexual intimacy, relationships and parenthood. At the same time, a woman is most often judged by her environment, while a man may completely abandon his obligations. In this state of affairs, it is very difficult for a woman to love her children and show them the necessary amount of attention and care. And also take proper care of yourself. Responsibility for a child that falls solely on a woman may be excessive for her. And at the same time, the history of a woman’s birth is also important. Whether there were injuries, whether she experienced violence during childbirth, all this is another layer in her story as a mother and relationship with her child. We are not robots who are easily able to switch our attention and live on, we need special conditions, support and care for this. We are alive, feeling, and moreover, we are family, single parenthood is an unnatural state of human physiology. A lot of books have been written about relationships with mothers, but we are still not so actively looking towards fathers. The reasons why families break up and men neglect their parental responsibilities depend on many factors. Most often, it is because the new parents themselves do not have sufficient support, and at the time of increased workload and a certain scenario, family and personal traumas can appear. How the absence of a father affects a person: Everything is very individual, because everyone, living their story, perceives it subjectively. But if we talk about the problems that many people have, then: It’s difficult to decide to start a new business. Taking on several tasks at once in parallel, but not bringing any of them to their logical conclusion. It is difficult to be responsible for the promises made. Tendency to pathological lies. It is difficult to defend one’s point of view. Agrees with other people’s opinions, and then feels used. Difficult to negotiate with people, touchiness. Feeling of inadequacy, excessive demands on oneself and others. Lack of self-confidence. Obsessive feelings that nothing will work out. The feeling that you are out of place. Very rarely, the separation of mother and father takes place without conflicts, and such a conflict between parents can become an internal conflict of a person. For both women and men, the absence of a father and the mother’s attitude towards him lays the foundation for the attitude towards oneself and the perception of life in general. Family is a system, a system of connections between generations, men and women, in which everyone is important. And for us, in turn, it is important to restore the connecting threads in order to see the picture of our life holistically and be able to use all our resources. The traumas that we live in the family are especially strongly reflected in our own personal relationships. And when we explore this topic, it is very important to stop looking for someone to blame. Pay attention to your feelings and needs in this matter. After all, restoring a holistic perception of the family system.