“I don’t internally agree with myself on everything, but that’s not a reason not to love yourself” V. Galashev There are many materials on how to say “no”. For the most part, the recommendations come down to an analysis of the internal reasons that prevent you from saying “no” and to practical guidelines for teaching this skill: working with the voice, with the mirror, the first steps - refusal in minor details, etc.. Every person, regardless of whether he refused or not, he heard this “No” addressed to him. But how many articles have you read about how to accept “No” to your request or offer (of course, I’m not talking about business, we’re talking about everyday, everyday family life), how to react when we are refused? We can talk about anything, from little things to serious life decisions. It all depends on what we hear: - Will you have soup? - No, I don’t want to eat - You don’t want to eat my soup? Or. - Let’s go to the dacha and relax, shall we? - I don’t want to - Why don’t you want anything with me?! Or. - Can we buy me a car now? - Honey, let's put it off until next year, when finances get better? - What else, what do I want, can we put off until next year?!! In these cases " “No” is perceived as - I don’t want you, I don’t want with you, I don’t want you, etc.. It’s hard for us to accept this, so... we don’t accept, we shout or say: let’s try, let’s compromise .I don’t want to talk to you - Well, let’s talk! I don’t want to solve this issue with you - Well then I’ll have to solve it myself for you! I don’t want to live with you - Let’s not make hasty decisions! I don’t want you - Time will pass and everything will change, now is a difficult period in our lives! Everything appears in a completely different light if in another person’s answer we are looking not for an attitude towards ourselves, but for a message about his desires or reluctances, which is what he is actually trying to say. After all, “I want” or “I don’t want” is not always about us, but always about our partner and his feelings. As soon as we stop looking for confirmation of self-love in indulging our requests and demands, relationships will reach a qualitatively new level with a person equal to us, whose emotions we hear and understand.