Lately, love in marriage is an atavism. Even the regime's mainstay - the president - is getting a divorce ;)! It has become fashionable to live simply, as if a stamp in a passport is a gravestone for such a tender feeling as love. Or here’s something I heard on TV while walking: “A wealthy man can afford to have many different women. Marriage is wasted years.” And at the same time, thousands of men and women complain about the lack of a partner, about the fact that there is no love. We've been looking for so long, but she's not there. The main thing is everything: intelligence, education, money, spirituality, career, sex and the list goes on. But there is no love. Why exactly? In the postmodern era, when everything is mixed with everything, the meaning gradually slips away and everything turns upside down, perhaps it is worth returning to the simplest things. Love - Simple. P. Coelho: “Love is... Without clarifications and definitions. Love - and don't ask. Just love.” Yes. No hassle. If you feel bad, hard, painful, difficult and incomprehensible with your “beloved”, then this feeling is littered with ideas about yourself, a narcissistic painful thirst for recognition, addictions, symbiotic desires for eternal fusion, your script or simply life’s benefits. Those. you personally want to get something for yourself, through this person. Feed. Like a butterfly on a sweet pie. A purely parasitic position. Go ahead and clean it up. To a psychologist, coach, books, etc. Nobody likes parasites. Love is an active force, giving, not taking. Remember a moment when you are active, energetic, active. Are you depressed? Are you in pain? Feel sorry for yourself? No. Energy, will, strength are aimed at the process and result. It's the same in love. You cannot guarantee the result 100%, since it is always 50/50. But the process itself! Love - Practice. E. Fromm wrote “mature love is unity under the condition of maintaining one’s own integrity, one’s own individuality. Love is an active force in man, a force that breaks down the walls that separate a person from his neighbors; which unites him with others; love helps him overcome feelings of isolation and loneliness; at the same time, it allows him to remain himself, to maintain his integrity. There is a paradox in love: two beings become one and remain two.” There is an idea that first I will become myself, and only then I will “build love” with someone worthy. No need for extremes. They are building something in “House-2”, but it is definitely not love. Understand, perfection is endless! You risk turning 80 without having formed a close relationship with anyone. And most importantly, you will be so naive in your feelings that you will not be able to distinguish who you can trust and who you cannot! How do you recognize someone worthy? How will you start a relationship if you don't have practice? It is in the practice of relationships, not just sex, that you will find out what kind of person you are. What you like or not, what you can and cannot do, and most importantly - what you want! In marriage, this practice is simply abundant. It is only important to remember that this is not only an economic union)), and to practice personal relationships, getting to know each other’s interests and values. Going on dates once a week and talking to each other for 20 minutes a day is a good way to start! Relationships are always a meeting. Moment after moment, date after date, as if beads are strung on a thread. This creates your interaction with your partner like a necklace of precious stones. You look and see: you can deal with a person and it would be nice to continue communication. Don't wait for the "H" hour. Get started today! What do you do daily for relationships, how do you practice mutual communication? Are you ready to invite someone you like for a cup of coffee? Practice every meeting of the relationship in the “here and now”, without thinking far ahead. It's just coffee. It's just a meeting. Love often begins with a pleasant meeting. Love - Responsibility and Courage. V.A. Sukhomlinsky “Love is first of all responsibility, and then pleasure and joy. The happiness of love lies in great responsibility for a person.” Make a commitment.