Wisdom comes when two people can sit across a table from each other and discuss their differences without having to change each other. Gregory Bateson We fell in love... This is a wonderful period. It seems to us that our feelings will never fade away, problems of misunderstanding will never arise, and that “with us everything will definitely be different.” We believe that our couple is destined to be happy and love each other until the end of their days, no matter what. Our love turns into euphoria. We are emotionally absorbed in each other. Our feelings are the first thing we think about when we wake up and when we fall asleep. We strive to be together always. We sincerely believe that we can resolve any problems. However, unfortunately, the state of euphoria and love, although wonderful, is not durable, and one day there comes a moment when all the magical spells dissipate, and a feeling of ordinariness and everyday life sets in. And for many relationships, this stage is precisely a test of the truth and authenticity of feelings. Falling in love is not true love because it does not require any effort. Whatever we do in a state of falling in love, it does not imply on our part any efforts, no awareness, no understanding and acceptance of the partner for who he really is, with all his thoughts, emotions and feelings. As soon as the state of falling in love completes its natural way, we will return to the world of reality and begin to put forward our claims. He will talk about his desires, but his desires are different from those that she has. He wants to have sex, but she has a headache. He wants to buy a new phone, but she objects: “You are selfish.” She wants to go on vacation to the sea, he prefers skiing in the mountains. Gradually, the illusion of intimacy evaporates, and emotions, personal desires and expectations, egocentrism and behavior manifest themselves. And at this stage, people either move away from each other, separate, get divorced and go in search of another crush, or begin the difficult process of learning to love each other with understanding and mutual care, without the euphoria generated by the obsession of falling in love. If communication with a loved one is significant for us, then we need to figure out what our partner really feels and needs. A very important element in the art of building happy relationships is awareness and acceptance of the needs and desires of the other. We rarely think that in order to give love, we first need to understand in what form our loved one needs it. Therefore, problems in relationships often arise from a simple misunderstanding and non-acceptance of the other’s point of view. Having understood and realized what our loved one needs, we find happiness, because when we ourselves strive to love and care for others, we receive and feel love and support in return. Sometimes in difficult moments of our relationship we either show indifference or strive to distance ourselves - simply because we don’t know what else to do. As a result, we cause a lot of pain to both ourselves and our partner. Almost everyone agrees that men and women are very different creatures, but most people would have a hard time pinpointing exactly what those differences are. Only during the period of accumulation of grievances and reproaches it is discovered that everything is not so simple: men expect from women a masculine way of thinking, masculine reactions, while women look for in them the feelings and empathy characteristic of women. Because we convey and receive love In different ways, maintaining love in a long-term relationship seems to be quite a difficult task. If we do not understand how our partner receives love, what he wants and expects from us at a particular moment, our feelings can be destroyed, and we will never know why. Without realizing the importance of understanding the needs of our loved one, we do not spend time to understand each other. We become demanding, irritable, harsh and intolerant in our assessment of our partner. We get angry and disappointed in each other.