On July 15, 2016, Federal Law of the Russian Federation No. 323-FZ of July 3, 2016 “On Amendments to the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation and the Criminal Procedure Code of the Russian Federation on issues of improving the grounds and procedure for exemption from criminal liability." Now, criminal liability under Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (beatings) occurs only if the beatings are committed against close people, as well as for hooligan motives, or for political, ideological, racial, national or religious hatred or enmity, or based on hatred or enmity against any social group. At the same time, it is defined that close persons in this article are understood to mean close relatives (spouse, parents, children, adoptive parents, adopted children, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren), guardians, trustees, as well as persons who are related to the person who committed the act provided for in this article, or persons who conduct a common household with him. I will not enter into polemics with any of the conflicting parties, but will only try to analyze whether it is possible to raise children without punishment and what can be used as a punishment instead of the notorious spanking. So, is it necessary to punish children at all and what function does punishment serve? In my opinion, the only function that punishment should perform is to indicate the boundaries of acceptable behavior. It is no secret that in the process of growing up, children “test their teeth” on everything that comes their way, and first it will be toys, and later parental authority. That is, punishment, in essence, is feedback for the child, which gives him the opportunity to learn what behavior is acceptable in the society in which he is raised and what is not. And in different cultures, norms can be different. I find confirmation of my thoughts from T. S. Volzhenina, who writes in the magazine “Vinograd” No. 6 (38) 2010: “... without punishment, children do not develop an idea of ​​​​the boundaries of what is permitted, the ability behave in society and develop a selfish, disrespectful attitude towards people, including their parents. Such children are uncontrollable and aggressive. And often they do not value the authority of adults.” So, if punishment is a method of marking boundaries, then only the child who does not try to violate these boundaries will be able to educate without punishing at all. Naturally, if first you familiarized the child with where exactly these boundaries lie. That is, the first step should always be clarification. If the child does not yet know that he should not pull his sister’s hair, then for the first time it would be nice to simply immediately stop his actions, explaining that this is NOT possible. Only after making sure that the child knows about the established norms and violates them consciously, should he be punished. Agree that a child who unsuccessfully pushes a glass of juice off the table is unlikely to deserve any kind of punishment. An adequate response in this case would be to give the child the opportunity to eliminate the consequences of his awkwardness, and this is not in all cases. In a cafe, I would still call the waiter J Personally, for me, the criterion in such situations is always the mental replacement of the child, for example, with a husband. At such a moment, I would begin to express complaints to an adult, whom I respect or not. Maybe the person needs help and not reprimand? If you are sure that the child is aware of the norms of behavior and violated them deliberately, then the second question arises before you, how to properly punish the child so that the punishment is effective? And this is where We are approaching the very stumbling block of Federal Law 323, which, mind you, in no way limits parents in their ability to raise children, but limits them only in choosing the method of influence. What results will we get by using methods of physical force as punishment? The child will learn ,that you can beat with impunity something that is smaller (weaker), and as a result, will show aggression towards animals, peers, and, possibly, towards you when it becomes stronger than you; You will hurt the child and this will make him fear you; You will teach the child does not respond to your words until you reinforce them with a spank or a blow; You can inadvertently traumatize the child, especially if you punish him under the influence of a fit of anger, because children are much more physically vulnerable than you imagine. When I ask parents , why and under what circumstances they raise their hands to their children, they all said that at this moment they experience a feeling of helplessness, they cannot cope with the situation. Then, maybe the only question is that parents need to be taught methods of coping with their own emotions and raising children using alternative methods? It’s easy to hit the weak in anger; it takes effort to find another method of education. Why bother? There is an old tried and tested method - spanking. It’s easier to look for ways to influence a child’s behavior using humane methods. I in no way mean that when raising a child, you need to indulge him in everything. Undesirable behavior of a child needs and can be corrected, but it is necessary to use such measures of influence on the child that do not cripple his soul or cause physical and moral pain. First of all, let's identify those methods of influence that are considered violence. Please note that this is not a complete list of possible violent actions towards a child (for example, I am not writing about sexual violence), but only what can be used as an educational measure in an ordinary family. After all, parents who do not use physical methods of punishing their children often use another form of violence - psychological (emotional). Physical violence is violence expressed in a direct impact on the child’s body: beatings, bodily harm, torture. As a result of physical violence, the victim may suffer torture or harm to health. The range of physical violence is wide: from minor beatings to the extreme form - murder. Psychological (emotional) violence - periodic, long-term or constant influence of parents or persons replacing them on a child, leading to a decrease in self-esteem, loss of self-confidence. To forms of psychological violence includes: Rejection - verbal and non-verbal actions demonstrating rejection of the child, belittling his dignity: - hostile attitude towards the child, belittling his value, humiliation, including public; - ridiculing a child for showing natural emotions (love, grief, sadness, etc.); - turning a child into a “scapegoat”, constant criticism of him; Terrorization - a threat to kill a child, cause him physical harm, place him in a dangerous or scary place: - unrealistic expectations from the child, setting extremely difficult tasks for him with the threat of punishment for failure to complete; - threat of violence against the child himself; - threat of violence against someone the child loves (including pets) Isolation - consistent actions aimed at depriving the child of the opportunity to meet and communicate with peers or adults, both at home and outside; - unreasonable restriction or prohibition of a child’s social contacts with peers or adults in his environment. How to punish a child so that he realizes the extent of his responsibility for the offense committed, but at the same time does not suffer physically or mentally? Punishment must be logically related to the offense itself . If a child hits someone on the playground, the correct punishment would be to deprive him of a further walk, and not of sweets. The severity of the punishment should correspond to the severity of the offense. The more serious the offense, the more severely the child must be punished. If punishment is not perceived by the child as punishment, then :)