It’s not so common these days to find adults whose parents supported them as children, treated them as individuals from an early age, believed in them, listened to them, and tried to understand their childhood experiences. Previously, due to cultural characteristics, adults paid more attention to satisfying the physiological needs of children, while the emotional ones remained open. And so the children grew up and now became parents themselves, who have an understanding of what they lacked in childhood, but there are no clear ideas about how to raise a child so that he grows up happy and confident. Since this was not the case in their own childhood experience, parents often act by trial and error. What is the mature position of a parent? Firstly, in the understanding that the parent is in all respects stronger, more experienced, wiser than the child and responsibility for how the relationship with the child will develop depends primarily on the parent. An adult knows how the world works and can show it to a child, teach him what he can do. When a parent says: “The child is manipulating me,” this means that the parent has come out of his position and allowed himself to be manipulated. He shifted the responsibility for what was happening from himself to the fragile shoulders of the child. Do you feel the difference? Secondly, a clear understanding of what it means to be a parent and the responsibility of remaining in that role. Due to the lack of emotional warmth in their own childhood, many parents now want to be their children's friends. You cannot fully be both a parent and a friend - these are different, sometimes mutually exclusive, roles. A friend is an equal; with a friend today you can play and have fun, and tomorrow you can fight or break up altogether. A friend cannot set rules and enforce them; relations between friends are absolutely equal. The role of a parent is to be close to the child, no matter what happens, try to understand him, forgive him, and show him that no matter what conflict occurs, the relationship will not end. A mature parent does not have the moral right, like a friend, to be offended, to leave, to stop communicating. Why strive to become a friend to your son or daughter, if from the position of a parent you can build a respectful and trusting relationship with your child, based on love and parental authority?! Thirdly, in the ability to withstand any emotions of a child, to be a support for him. Let your child know that he can tell you everything. Be prepared to listen calmly, accept his feelings, and show kindness and empathy. Refuse any accusations, devaluation, as well as immersion in the child’s pessimism and despair. Choose words that will make him feel that his feelings are normal, and you are on his side, that you can find a way out of any situation, and you are ready to help with this. Parents are living, not ideal people who can experience different emotions, this is also normal. Sometimes a child's words or an external situation can stir up the parent's own feelings: fear, guilt, confusion, a feeling of powerlessness, shame or despair. You should not “dump” them on the child, this is an unbearable burden for him. It is worth discussing and understanding your own difficult feelings with other adults: your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, psychologist. Fourthly, you should educate yourself or seek help if difficulties arise in your relationship with your child. If you feel that you are unable to cope with your own feelings or you do not understand what is happening to your child, read relevant articles and literature or seek help from a psychologist. I invite parents to group classes, which are held as enrollment progresses at the Center for Family Settlement at the address: Khabarovsk, st. Leningradskaya 11. Details and registration by phone: 70-46-13 or WhatsApp: +7(962)223-13-34