“If you behave badly, I’ll give you to that guy”; “Stop fooling around, otherwise the evil Baba Yaga will fly in and eat you”; “If you don’t want to go home, stay on the playground, mom leaves on her own” - who among us has not heard these or similar phrases in relation to children in our lives? Or maybe we ourselves said something similar to our child. Unfortunately, many parents do not understand that with such manipulative phrases they cripple their child’s psyche and undermine the bonds of trust between him and his parents. And then they wonder why the child has so many fears and phobias? Indeed, these messages can have a quick effect “here and now” in terms of the child’s obedience, but they cause him emotional trauma, which can persist for years, affecting his adult life. Let’s Let's consider what dangerous manipulative messages are best avoided when communicating with your child: Manipulation by fear. Parents try to achieve obedience by scaring the child. For example: “If you talk a lot, a fly will fly into your mouth and live there,” “If you tease your sister, you will get a belt,” etc. Manipulation of breaking off relations with parents. For example: “If you don’t stop crying, this aunt will take you with her” (option: “An evil policeman will come and take you away”), “I’m already tired of you constantly not finishing your porridge; if you do that again, I’ll leave the house altogether , you will live on your own and cook for yourself.” Manipulation of negative consequences for life. For example: “If you are greedy and don’t share this toy with Kolya, you will never have friends in your life,” “If you don’t help your mother around the house, you will grow up to be a white-handed girl, no one will marry you,” etc. Manipulation of the fact that mother or dad will stop loving the child. This is one of the most terrible manipulations for a baby. Typical examples: “I don’t need a daughter who doesn’t teach homework and is rude to her mother at all”; “If you don’t stop the hysteria right now, I will neither love you nor care about you anymore.” Manipulation of comparison with other children. “Why don’t you want to get ready for school?! Look, the girl next door Katya, at your age, can already read and write, she’s smart and talented, you’re far from her!” Manipulation of shame or guilt. “How can I go on a visit with such a capricious child - I’m ashamed of you, you’re behaving like a disgrace to the family!” How can parents achieve the child’s obedience without using these dangerous manipulative phrases? The most effective technique is respectful, constructive and two-way dialogue. When parents calmly and patiently explain to the child what is good and what is bad in “his” language, appealing to the best sides of his personality and without using destructive manipulations. And always, in any situation, showing your unchanging love for the child.