I'm going to tell you one big secret. Very big. This is a secret that will help you save a lot of money on therapy and psychological help, and at the same time make your life much easier and more enjoyable. Isn’t that great?! You don’t believe me, and I understand you perfectly. Who gives out such advice for free? This simply cannot happen. I agree, I always think so too when I read another advertisement for another miraculous training. Such advertising, like any other, embellishes the bright sides, but is silent about various pitfalls or mentions them casually in very small print. And yet, I ask you to believe me - my secret is exactly as I said about it. And, of course, there is a catch, but I will honestly tell you about it, and not in small print, but in the same type as you are reading now. Why am I giving out this secret? To be honest, for a second I felt truly scared. Because if all people learn this secret, at the same time many psychotherapists, constellations, gestalt therapists, as well as psychics, shamans and other people in “helping” professions will lose their practice. This means that this danger threatens me too. And yet, I do it. Why? Simply because very few people will be able to take advantage of this knowledge. So, by and large, I have nothing to fear. And the thing here is exactly the catch of my secret. But I’ll tell you about it at the very end. And, okay, so that I won’t be accused of hiding the truth, I’ll do it in capital letters and in bold. LIKE THIS. You will laugh, but there is no secret. It would be foolish to assume that there is some other wisdom that previous generations would not have discovered. They were no more stupid than us. But this is the thing with wisdom - it cannot be mastered by reading a book, watching an educational video on YouTube, or exchanging comments on LiveJournal. You need to grow into wisdom. And each generation does this again and again, receives a portion of its bruises and bumps, but along with them, as a pleasant bonus, its wisdom. Or experience. Well, at worst, prudence. Do you feel I’m distracted? I'm putting my teeth on you. This is true. I'm really afraid. I don't want to lose practice. And I don’t want to hide from crowds of angry psychotherapists and psychics either. Anyway. The boy said it, the boy did it. Let's get to the point. I often get calls from people who are about to come to an appointment, and they are worried about many different things. And they ask questions. Will the group be large or small? But can they be guaranteed to sort out their question from one to three, because they have very little time, and after that they have to run to five places at once? What specific certifications do I have, and do I have a basic education in psychology? This also includes the question: how to choose a good or even the best arranger? All these questions are asked for a reason, and they are very important. These questions are much more important than the answers. If I answer them literally, these people's concerns will not go away. Why? - you ask. And I’ll ask you a counter question. When I, or you, or someone else decided that he has some important topic with which he should turn to a constellation or any other psychotherapist, and even to a shaman - what for Is this person important? How many people will be in the group? How many certificates with beautiful seals does the psychotherapist have? Will he have time before three o’clock? No, no, and no. The answer is obvious, it is, one might say, on the surface. The most important thing for me, or for you, or for anyone else is... Of course, the topic for which we seek help. What do we do when we ask completely different questions and don’t touch the main topic? It's like we don't want to look at this topic. And we are looking for a reason to refuse this dubious pleasure. But we know, or guess, that if we don’t do this, nothing will change. And then we continue to select a good arranger, choose a group, or do the sameimportant things and ask equally important questions, on the one hand, persistently moving towards our goal, and on the other hand, pushing away from it with no less persistence. Instead of doing one simple thing. Think about what we want to get. Think about what makes us spend our money on dubious participation in dubious constellations, or in any other respected psychological practices and trainings. And here is my secret. If you decide to seek help, and even allocated money for this, and have already signed up for reception - stop for a second. Don't rush anywhere. I'm sure you've been walking towards this for quite some time (I know, I've walked these paths myself, and I still do) - so spend just a few more moments. Stop. Calm down. Focus. Look inside yourself, listen to yourself, to your feelings. Listen to your soul. If you think that there is no soul, listen to your gastrointestinal tract. You probably have it. Listen and tell her (the soul in the sense), or him (if it is the gastrointestinal tract): Please show me what I should or should see. Help me find what bothers me, help me discover the reason for it and change my life. I'm ready. These are approximate words, you can say your own - I think you understand the main idea. Better yet, don’t say any words - send a feeling to where your soul is, or your gastrointestinal tract. A sense of determination, a sense of intention - when they are silent, they are stronger than any words. That's all. Now go where you were going to go for what you need - and get it. If you succeed in doing this, then everything else becomes unimportant. And it doesn’t matter at all what the name of the training you are going to is called. And it doesn’t matter at all if you are not a client in the arrangement, but will only serve as a substitute. Or if you even just sit on a chair for the entire arrangement. You will get what you were looking for, rest assured. And rest assured, you will feel that this is exactly what you need right now. And no unqualified arrangers, or even charlatans, will be able to stop you from doing this. Simply because, compared to the force you are turning to, they are like a child's tricycle against a T-34. That's the whole secret. Really simple? Not simple, but extremely simple. I would say it's elementary. If you think about it, this is the most reasonable thing to do in this situation. So why am I telling you about it, although it can really reduce the flow of clients into our offices? It's really simple, but even many of us constellators forget about it. We, people of helping professions, gain experience, and with it pride. Sometimes it seems to us that there is simply no person nearby who could “solve” our problem. At best, we need to go somewhere abroad with her. Or better yet, go to Hellinger himself. He won't let you down. I know what I’m talking about - I thought so myself, although by that time I already owned the secret that I told you about. Now I just go to any group with my intention, and usually I get even more than I expected. What savings on air tickets, can you imagine?! Why does it work like that? This is exactly the trick I promised to tell you about. The time has come. Why am I not afraid that many will be able to take advantage of this golden advice? Yes, simply because many of us, turning to people in helping professions, turn to change something in life, secondarily. And firstly we can look for understanding, sympathy, something else. Even for the therapist to take us by the ears with his strong hands and drag us to our happiness. We, of course, can do this. And sometimes we even love you. But the distance to which the best psychotherapist can drag any of us to the goal is nothing compared to the distance that we can go ourselves. And here it is, this catch. As promised, in capital letters and bold letters. WE HAVE TO DO IT OURSELVES. Only we can look within ourselves and form this intention. And no one in