A cheerful and exciting childhood, which was organized by drinking relatives, of course leaves a mark on the child, and later on the adult. How can you not leave a mark if the most important figures who were supposed to provide physical and emotional security not only did not provide it, but were themselves a source of danger? Everyone who grew up in such a family dealt with it in one way or another, compensated for something, pushed something deeper, used something with maximum benefit for themselves. Let's see what qualities may be characteristic of adults who grew up in alcoholic families. A heightened sense of justice. Any injustice is perceived as a threat and causes a lot of pain. After all, once upon a time there was too much of this injustice. The child took seriously any accusations against him, for example, that his mother was drinking because her disobedient offspring had exhausted all her nerves. But only if the child does everything to keep his mother calm, for some reason she still drinks. Constantly changing rules of behavior will sooner or later cause a feeling of total injustice, because no matter how hard a little person tries, he will still remain extreme and guilty. In adulthood, experience, knowledge, and understanding of cause-and-effect relationships come to the rescue, but that child will not benefit from this set It won't get any easier. I wanted to save my parents from the clutches of alcohol, find the magic key, solve the riddle, but it didn’t work out. And this is unfair, because the child did everything he could. Feeling of inner emptiness. Since drinking parents looked at the world through the glass of a bottle, the child, as a part of this world, might not have enough reflection in the parent’s eyes. Who am I? What or what am I? What am I like? All these questions remained unanswered, or only complaints were poured out in response. That is why I have to remind myself that I am not an empty place, and fill this hole with anything. Achievements, money, emotions, food, addictions. I want to feel like a living person, so I need to saturate myself with something: not necessarily with something positive, iron fists and restrictions will also do. An adult child of alcoholics continues to ride on the old rails and self-criticism, self-doubt, inability to accept approval and compliments come to the rescue , a feeling of constant insufficiency (imposter syndrome at your service). It’s only in theory that it seems like you need to switch to the bright side and finally love yourself, stopping the endless marathon of self-criticism. But in practice, the habit of suffering turns out to be stronger - it’s unpleasant when you are criticized and accused, but at least it’s familiar. And everything new causes horror and suspicion. Difficulties in building relationships. Your whole life can be devoted to guessing what is the norm in relationships between people? The family denied the obvious, the problem was downplayed, the drinking parent constantly promised something and did not fulfill it, lies were constantly present to one degree or another. It doesn’t seem very normal, but most of my life has passed in this atmosphere, which means it’s possible to live somehow. It seems to an adult that there are only two options: either endure everything that the partner offers (and he usually also has problems with addictions) - After all, I already had to live in such an atmosphere once, or try to control every little thing and if something went wrong, then immediately break off the relationship. For dialogue and finding a compromise, there is not enough basic knowledge about oneself and one’s rights, as well as the fact that one can choose one’s norm independently. These are just some of their signs, there are others, for example, fear of rejection, a feeling of inevitability (it seems like this is the last chance or the last time, and the quarrel will become final and the relationship will end), constant search for approval, impulsiveness, categoricalness, etc. When working with such clients, the very first thing that catches your eye is the reluctance to see reality as it is. There is an expression about rose-colored glasses, but it does not reflect everything