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I'm not a robot

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My daughter is a coward. She is afraid of heights, carousels, she, like all children, does not jump on trampolines, and does not ride quickly on swings. Surely, some parents will see their child in this description. Some, but not all. Why is it that some children, headlong, climb on all sorts of attractions, walk on the roofs of garages, and they don’t even think about the fact that this could be dangerous and they could fall, while others are scared to even jump on a regular trampoline or climb on a ladder? on the playground? The answer is almost always in the behavior of the parents themselves: When I see any danger, I always tell her: “Be careful, you can fall.” And she is careful. I think I'm doing the right thing. I must warn of danger! How do you think a fearful child feels on the playground? on that same trampoline? Or on a carousel? Is it possible to assume that he is scared there, he is afraid of falling? Does this mean he feels unsafe? How should you behave when you encounter danger? This is what my parents taught me: “Be careful, you might fall.” But then the Caring Parent will begin to protest: How should I behave? If she wants to climb high, should I silently watch her fall? Of course not! You really should be afraid! Very afraid! But do it “to yourself”, so that the child does not see or hear it! Let this remain a secret parental Mission - to fear FOR the child! Which literally means “he is not afraid, you are afraid instead of him.” I really want her to be an active child. Brave like all children. The answer will tell you... Your own experience of supporting a child in situations of danger. Every parent has this experience, and it is definitely positive! Remember when your child learned to walk. Agree that then there were dangers at his every step, and he really could have received serious injuries... but! This didn't happen! He learned to walk! And now he no longer thinks about the fact that he might accidentally fall. He confidently takes every step! How did you manage to do this? Surely you didn’t tell him: be careful, you might fall. Is it true? You said: come on, come on, come on! You can do it! I'm with you! I will help you! And they kept their hands ready so that if anything happened they could catch the baby. It is important to let the child understand that being afraid is normal and correct. But it’s even better to overcome obstacles. First, with your help - belaying him, holding your hands next to him, and then he will be able to do it himself! It is important to focus not on the danger itself, but on the child’s ability to overcome it. For example: “I understand, this is scary. But you are so fast, smart, talented, neat... you will definitely succeed!” if he refuses: “let’s do it together?”, then “you can do it yourself, and I’ll be there and give you my hand when you ask.” And then the last step will be “you go ahead, and I’ll clap for you when you succeed!” If you arrange the above steps graphically, you will get a universal scheme for raising a child. Why universal? Because it can be used not only to make a child brave, but also for other purposes, for example, in learning to do homework independently. Everything ingenious is actually simple! It is important for me to read your opinion in the comments to the article!

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