BEING MARRIED. HOW IS THAT? Stages of relationships Think and feel the power here! 1. Courtship stage. A man can court several women at once, choosing and looking closely at them. And a woman can be courted by several men, and as long as she has not entered into sexual relations with any of them, courtship does not impose any obligations. This stage may be accompanied by falling in love, euphoria, and idealization. When you see everything that is most beautiful and kind and amazing in a person. During the courtship period, the man is the suitor, and the woman is the young lady. 2. Engagement Engagement is a new level. Important. A man invites a woman to choose him to become his bride. He gives her a ring and sets a time for the wedding (maybe in a year, six months, as long as both need). The importance of this stage is in the publicity of “We are engaged” (rumor). From this day on, everyone knows that she is the bride, he is the groom. And now the choice is made. The bride looks closely at what kind of owner he is, what his requirements are, his family, order, foundations, traditions. He answers the question: “Do I want to become part of his family?” The man looks closely at the bride. What kind of housewife she is, what kind of mother she can become. “Will she be able to get up and follow me, believe in me, trust me?..” The husband gives his wife a HOME as a space and a set of rules, structure, requirements. At this stage it is important to understand: can I live by these rules? After all, my wife will not be able to change anything in these rules! This is important to realize. He is the master of the house and he sets the rules, and the wife accepts them. Or he doesn’t accept and then the engagement is terminated. 3. Union. Marriage. From that day on, community emerged. Family. Everything whose members follow the man. He gains strength from this and he is responsible for every step he takes. The wife stands behind her husband and follows him without criticizing his decisions and actions. Yes, he can't always do the right thing. He may stumble and fall. And who doesn’t fall? But then get up and move on with life experience. The wife’s task is to believe in him and agree with his decisions. Is this the man you will follow without questions or objections?? This is all decided at the engagement stage. Just recently I felt in the constellation what it means to be a wife. I, a twice divorced woman, FELT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE MARRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME! For real. It's magical! GREATNESS, SOLEMNITY, JOY AND ANXIETY. I learned how important it is to look at my husband with reverence. He then gains determination, strength and courage. When you realize all this, a lot becomes clear! Victoria Averkieva (from Valery Yadrinkin’s seminar)