Despite the new year, in many families and marriages where warmth and love reign, there are couples who are in the process of breaking up. It is extremely difficult and painful to endure these events immediately after the holidays and at the beginning of the year, which, for many, is metaphorically associated with new plans, new life and new dreams. Separation and parting are simply perceived as the collapse of everything important. Speaking in psychologically literate language, this is akin to a state of loss and questions of life and death. Here is a quote from one of my clients who faced such a difficult event just the other day: “He and I breathed on each other. We've lived so long. I can't believe this is it. I can't do anything without him. I built my whole life around his life. He became my universe, and now he’s gone.” I heard these words when I met her. Let me briefly explain that the breakup was not a surprise to me, since their couple had been divorcing and getting back together for six months. The client’s form of relationship is emotional dependence plus child-parent relationships. When they started living together, she was 18 and he was 35. Now she is 24. He is the only man she loved so much (you could read about women who love too much in my last article “Monologue...”). Using this as an example case, I’ll tell you how, using a universal model from positive psychotherapy, you can live this moment less painfully and more resourcefully than seems possible at first glance. If the article is read by one of the specialists who wants to work with similar emotional states, then the balanced model and client translation from the complaint is very effective. So, let’s remember the balance model: 4 spheres of life - body, business, contacts, meanings. At the moment of crisis and separation, when it seems that “the world is collapsing,” a crazy imbalance occurs in all four spheres. The body hurts and suffers , excitement, strong appetite or lack thereof, anxiety, chest pain, tremors, sweating, drowsiness or, on the contrary, insomnia and much more that you know about yourself at such moments. There is also no “working mood” in the field of activity. No thoughts about work, no motivation, no resource. Diving into work occurs later, when the process of replacement and displacement begins, but this is already when there is a resource. At first everything gets out of hand. Contacts. We become isolated, fall into “self-pity”, the position of an offended and wounded “child” and do not know who or how to heal our wounds. Well, the sphere of meaning speaks for itself - there is no faith, no meaning, no hope, there is nothing that gave joy before. Now that the general signs of imbalance have been revealed, I offer emergency psychological help: Secret 1 (for the body). Warmth and warmth again! At the moment of your greatest vulnerability and feeling of emptiness, at the moment when there is a lack of love, you need to take care of your “inner child” and your bodily shell. You must take a hot shower, wash your hair very well rinse them under running water. Apply cream, but avoid strong scents. I do not recommend perfumes or deodorants. Nothing should distract you and be “sharp” on perception, which is already sensitive. Dry your hair and braid it or put it in a ponytail, but not high. It is desirable that the hairstyle be smooth and simple. Combing is not allowed. Simplicity and neatness. Let all your energy stay close to your body. No hairpins. Nothing prickly or sharp. Decorations - no. You should be natural. Dress in the most pleasant things to the touch that fit you almost according to your figure. Underwear with the largest body coverage area. Thongs - not yet. Cutting seams and straps - no. Open lower backs and heels are a no. Wear all the things that will keep you warm and fit as close to your body as possible. If you have a floor-length knitted dress, great; if not, then I think a sporty-loose style would be quite appropriate. After tying your hair, get dressed, grab and drink something warm: broth, tea!