From the author: The article was published on the website Very often, in the process of a relationship, each partner “turns on” an unconscious scenario of how they (the relationship) should develop. It describes the roles of yourself and your partner, down to the thoughts and emotions that should be experienced at a certain moment. But since, in most cases, partners do not have extrasensory abilities, they are not even aware of their roles. Moreover: each of them must develop their actions according to their own scenario. Thus, desires and expectations that are not spoken out remain unrealized and settle as heavy stones of disappointment in the minds of each partner. What can be done so that scenarios do not destroy, but create relationships? A possible way out (practice) - start a tradition: discussing expectations. To begin with Each individual individually compiles a list of expectations from the partner, and after, having agreed in advance on the time and place, the partners discuss the extent to which the expectations can be realized. But you should remember the safety rules: take what your partner says with understanding and respect, without criticism and ridicule, in a correct form to express how possible it is to turn the expectation into reality. It is important that the result of the conversation is an agreement that you will begin to fulfill for each other one item from the stated expectations. Please note that an agreement is not manipulation, not an order, but a conscious choice of adults who voluntarily take on obligations in order to improve their relationship! If you do not have such a trusting relationship with your partner to complete this task together, then you can complete it individually . After you have compiled a list of expectations, honestly note which of them are known to your partner and which ones he has no idea about, analyze each expectation, noting how important it is for you, think about whether its fulfillment will bring you happiness or is it just a glimpse of what you want. as in a union it may be that has no value for you. After this, determine for yourself the expectation that you can express with a request to your partner (since this is the initial stage, it is advisable that the request is not difficult for him). An important point: a request is not an ultimatum, but a hint to your partner, which leaves him the right to refuse to fulfill it, and this is NORMAL. By performing this exercise, you take a step towards knowing yourself and your partner! This exercise is useful to perform during a period when Some changes are planned in the couple, for example, expectations during vacations, holidays, the birth of a child, etc. The more you discuss, the more you will understand each other, and understanding is an important component of a long-term and high-quality relationship. PS Share your results and discoveries with me in the comments on the site. If you know someone who will find this article useful and interesting, be sure to share it. Share what is important and valuable! Thank you in advance!