“My happiness is the embrace of your own hands” Epigraph: “Hug babies under any pretext, After all, little children still smell like God!” My husband once told me: “I want a girl to be born.” She can be undead and pampered, but the boy must be raised!” And he was not alone in his idea of ​​gender differences in attitudes towards children. There is a widespread opinion among adults that boys need to be raised more strictly, with emotional restraint, so as not to raise a “sissy” and a “mama’s boy.” The fears of the recent past have been joined by one more thing: God forbid we raise a gay man! Psychological studies have shown that girls under the age of one year receive 5 times more affection than their peers - boys. As people get older, this trend continues, but the gap gradually narrows. Those. over time, tenderness, touching, hugging are replaced by verbal “positive strokes” - at best. At worst - “negative verbal stroking”, physical contact in the form of slaps, slaps, nudges. But boys really need physical contact with their parents and it is important to be rocked, picked up, kissed, stroked and hugged. Such manifestations of love play a decisive role in their psychological development from the day of birth until the age of 8-10 years. When the need for physical contact reaches a new level. It is important not to miss this moment or misinterpret what is happening. It usually looks like this: you try to pet your son, but he dodges. You want to hug him in front of everyone, as you did just recently, but he gets angry and removes your hand. You stroke his head, and he loudly declares that he is no longer little. The mistake is made by those parents who, having decided that “if you don’t want to, don’t,” reduce the share of touches and physical contact with their grown-up sons. As you get older, the need for physical affection (kisses and hugs) decreases. Physical contact does not become less in demand, but undergoes changes: “baby love” is replaced by playful wrestling, patting on the back or shoulder, “bear hugs”, ritual greetings “like adults” - shaking hands. For a teenager, they are very important and vital. Little girls are hugged and caressed for no reason, simply because they are girls - small, cute and because it is customary. Basically, it is always easier and easier for girls to get physical contact with adults. Guess who will be picked up faster if you are tired: a boy or a girl? If in boys the need for physical contact undergoes qualitative changes by the age of 8-10, then in girls it is quantitative. And, as they grow older, their need for affection increases, and by the age of 11 it reaches its maximum. They are in dire need of affection, tenderness, support and special attention from their family. They especially need physical and mental contact with their fathers. This period is considered important because it is followed by a very difficult “transitional age” for which the daughter needs to be prepared. Mom and dad need to have time to “nourish” their daughter with tenderness, affection and “hugs”, so that in adolescence she does not look for all this outside the family, in dubious companies, among boys or other adults through early sexual contact, addiction and codependency. The value of physical contact and touch in communication with children and loved ones has been proven by more than one scientist and confirmed by life. Hugs help a person feel protected, loved, needed, and reduce anxiety. Statistically, children who were touched frequently as children have a better ability to survive. They have high immunity and are less susceptible to emotional problems, they are better able to build relationships with a partner and trust themselves and people more. Their “vessel of love,” by the time their own children appear, is full and they can “drink them from it.”: +38093-428-36-06; +38067-900-94-74