One of the reasons for problems in relationships is illusions. And this is not about a rabbit out of the sleeve and tricks, this is about what seems to be reality. And the word here seems to need to be underlined and highlighted in bold. You will not be able to recognize and eliminate them on your own, because for you this is the norm of behavior and the norm of expectation laid down in childhood. This is the normality of your world, and it is very difficult to accept it, because you have to accept that your whole life was just a figment of your imagination. And when during consultations you fail and show a person his illusions, he often does not understand what we are talking about, since the protective mechanisms of our psyche are activated. Illusions do not appear in the relationships themselves, we bring them from our past, it does not happen that a person lived here and as soon as I started dating, I fell into illusion. Here you need to understand that illusions are present not only in relationships, but also in other aspects of our lives. But let's look at how illusions appear in relationships. The most severe illusions appear at the first stage of merging relationships, nature has cleverly arranged for us that for procreation and the attractiveness of partners, she muffles all the partner’s shortcomings so as not to discourage the desire to continue this same family. Against this background, the object is idealized and endowed with non-existent positive qualities. But, besides this, our unconscious and the scripts laid down in childhood also add fuel to the fire, adding heat. And the following illusions emerge: relationships will save me from loneliness; there will be someone to talk to; relationships will save me from loneliness; this person will solve all my problems and will earn me a lot of money; I will find my soul mate and become a full-fledged person or something is somehow boring and much more. The main feature that unites all these illusions is that the person wants to solve our own problems at the expense of another, and if he does not fit into our illusions, then we do not reconsider our attitude towards the person, but try to change, improve, perfect him. And as it happens, after the end of some years, and for others the whole life, we suffer a fiasco, we break off relationships and with our illusions go into another relationship, or we fall into despondency and depression, and sometimes both. And this moment is just from childhood, this is exactly the moment when we were little boys and girls and we were loved and taken care of, and if something was not our way, then we put our lips together and stomped our feet and got what we wanted .And we developed a strong connection that love = care and solution to our problems. On the other hand, we needed illusions in childhood in order to survive, in order to patch up the holes in the perception of the world. We needed time to grow up, get stronger, and fantasies, turning into illusions, were needed as a tool to help the child cope with some problems that did not fit in our minds, for which we, as children, could not explain. And everything would be fine if we parted with them along with childhood, but getting stuck occurs precisely as a consequence of not growing up and not accepting reality. We took this magic wand with us into adulthood. Returning to relationships, it is important to mourn and say goodbye to the illusion that your partner can replace your parent and solve your problems. Psychological maturity is saying goodbye to childhood illusions. Right now you can try to understand whether you have illusions or not. Find a quiet, calm place, take a few deep breaths and exhalations, try to relax and ask yourself the question: - What percentage from 0 to 100 do I live in illusions? Number. And the first thing that comes to mind is the correct answer, if your first number is 0, then most likely it is an illusion. In relationships, sincerity helps to get rid of illusions; be yourself. Try to honestly answer the following questions: 1. Why do you need a relationship and a partner?2. What do you expect from your partner?3. What can and are you ready to give to your partner? Well, and the most important thing is to pronounce “in words through your mouth” your desires, plans and.