"The only real luxury is the luxury of human communication," - to some this phrase of A. de Saint-Exupery may seem very accurate, to others - a clear exaggeration. And yet, perhaps the truth is that relationships that can become truly precious are quite difficult to find, really difficult to maintain, and equally difficult to survive and accept their end. And at the same time, these relationships usually more than pay off. They pay off with the pleasure that we get from the presence of our loved one (remember for yourself!) They pay off with the “feats” and achievements that we are capable of with his support. After all, next to those who we like for their activity and determination, we ourselves somehow catch up; in a pleasant company of people who value comfort and coziness, we learn to take better care of ourselves... I don’t want, and I won’t be able to, write about the many truly complex nuances that in one way or another affect the meeting of two or more people. The “ambushes” that I will outline, it seems to me, are the most basic. And the most common ones, of course. "Ambush" first. Like everything else in this world, intimacy is never perfect. Just as there are no identical fingerprints, there are no people who are completely compatible with each other in everything - compatible in all their values, passions, and views. Although, of course, it can always turn out that someone you know “suits” you so much more noticeably than everyone else that the illusion of complete compliance is created. Unfortunately, only an illusion. Sooner or later, something “not right” will be discovered in everyone. Suddenly it turns out that he, for example, has a completely different attitude towards money (children/career/family life) than he would like. And he categorically does not understand you when, for example, you get scared where he is used to being angry. The boss is rude - your loved one is angry, but you are scared. And instead of comforting you, he “uselessly” scolds the boss. The idyll is bursting at the seams... And, probably, the closer in spirit a person is, the more important he has become in the course of life, the more difficult it is to experience disappointment, anger and sadness from the fact that he is still “not quite like that.” And his disappointment in you, by the way, is also not very pleasant. Of course, you can ignore the differences. Walk everywhere together, never argue with each other. You can even try to ignore the need to meet other people - with girlfriends with whom you can enthusiastically try on all the available clothes. Or with friends who understand the technical characteristics of various tanks in a new computer game. But this will not change at all the fact that all people are different, and they need different things. "Ambush" is next. The risk of meeting another person is always associated with the risk of learning something new about yourself. Only when faced with a request for help can I find out whether I am willing to provide this help, whether I am responsive or, on the contrary, selfish. It would be good if I suddenly turned out to be what I thought I was. It’s much worse to find out something completely unpleasant about myself - something that I never knew about myself or even something that I carefully hide from myself. Such a secret can be anything - from the unpleasant discovery that, it turns out, for “complete happiness” I need someone else besides my beloved, to the recognition of the terrifying fact that, it turns out, I really like the stupidest monotonous series. You are laughing in vain; you can become deeply and painfully disappointed in yourself for almost any reason. Of course, there is always a way to avoid unpleasant experiences. Just don’t communicate with those to whom your “unloved” part “responds”. If you don’t know how to refuse, don’t run into a request. If you don’t want to know about yourself that you are gentle and trusting, avoid those you want to trust and with whom you want to be especially gentle. But this will not change the fact that you are exactly who you are - now, and, perhaps, forever. Well, another “ambush”. The inevitability of separation. Even if we manage to save our relationship, time after time)