If you constantly criticize yourself, like your mother once criticized you, and cannot cope with this problem, then this article is for you. Who is the inner critic, what is it for, where does it come from and how to use it to your advantage. Or at least don’t let it ruin your life. The habit of criticizing yourself is an echo of childhood. How often, we were criticized by parents, grandmothers, teachers and other adults. And the criticism was always explained by the fact that they wanted us to feel better, to teach us reason. Mothers are especially keen on teaching their children this way. The child may be naughty or almost perfect. But if the mother does not understand that praise and support for the child are more important and useful than finding out his mistakes, then the child is doomed to a life of reproach and criticism of himself. With rude words, reproaches, comparisons, mothers tried to make a person out of the baby. It’s as if the child is a subhuman, and a log and pinocchio can be cut out of it with constant criticism. Although the child is already a person. Since birth. And verbal blows are just as painful for him as physical ones. Bruises appear from the blow to the body. And being hit with a word leaves scars on the soul. And, perhaps, the most unpleasant thing is that, growing up, we take the model of behavior of a “caring mother” and begin to criticize ourselves. (And some even their children). For the sole purpose of pointing out an error. We strive to make ourselves better. But not with kindness and understanding, but with rude words, ugly epithets, and incorrect comparisons. Maybe we also hope that it will help improve life? But this criticism does not help. And it doesn't add strength. And it doesn’t save you from mistakes. But rather it deprives you of energy and reduces self-esteem. Another mistake is to confuse constant self-criticism with conscience. Conscience is associated with morality, morality. It helps us make healthy choices. At the same time, the inner critic makes us make unhealthy decisions. The inner critic makes us hate ourselves. Instead of motivating me to change and take constructive actions. Is it possible to cope with the inner critic? Certainly. And you can even make it help rather than hinder us. I suggest you do the following exercise. The critical inner voice is not an auditory hallucination. This is how we perceive thoughts in our heads. Listen to yourself when you criticize yourself. What voice does this criticism sound in? This could be the voice of a mother or a significant adult. Determine the intonation and volume of this voice. As a rule, the critic speaks harshly, often in a raised tone and uses rude words. Now try changing the intonation and timbre of the voice in which critical remarks are made. Try to make the critic’s voice sound not loud and harsh, but quiet, calm and affectionate. Ask the critic to make his comments in this way. Explain to him that you don’t mind listening to comments, but you would like them to be pronounced in a different tone. Better yet, ask the critic not only to point out your mistakes and mistakes (you can see them without him), but to say what what to do next or how to do it differently next time. He advised, recommended, and all this in a kind, gentle and pleasant voice. If you want the critic not to influence you at all, then you can change his voice to a sleepy, or cartoonish, or meowing cat. Reproaches uttered in such a voice will cause you nothing but laughter. You will no longer shrink from fear and anxiety, you will not feel internal conflict, you will not experience stress and guilt. When you learn to calmly interact with your inner critic, you will be able to do what you see fit, arranging your life as you see fit, without being afraid of making a mistake and hearing a poisonous phrase inside yourself. I would be grateful if you share the results in the comments after performing the technique. © Psychologist Larisa Aleksandrovna Solovyova I liked the article, like it and subscribe to the channel. Mail [email +79622053564