What is family happiness? How to make the relationship between a man and a woman correct and smart? What is marriage? A deal on mutually beneficial terms to acquire the status of financial stability, everyday comfort, and emotional satisfaction? How to calculate a win-win path to family happiness? Is the opinion still relevant that arranged marriages are extremely stable and strong; it is only necessary for the calculation to be correct? This is what this article will discuss. Marriage of convenience The saying “marriage of convenience” is ancient and deeply rooted among many peoples of the world. This is like an ancient formula for creating a family, tested and confirmed by facts for centuries. Both in old times and in modern life, “arranged” marriages take place, when future spouses do not participate at all in the organization and preparation of this event. Marriages of convenience are concluded by ordinary citizens, rich family clans, politicians, and government officials. They are guided only by financial, long-term or political interests. The bride and groom do not see each other until the wedding ceremony and do not know anything about each other. Their spiritual, moral, physical compatibility is a big question. However, among such marriages there are still very strong and prosperous marriages. To justify such marriages, there is an expression: “Many marry because they fall in love, and some marry to love.” How to calculate the correctness of the connection of two destinies? As a family psychotherapist in Almaty, I recommend that brides and grooms try to take one test before getting married and performing the wedding ceremony. To do this, on one side of the paper you need to answer the question “What do I expect from my spouse?”, and on the reverse side - “What can I give to my spouse?” Both men and women answer the first question quickly and easily. But the second question is more difficult to answer. It is this questionnaire that reveals one of the most pressing and popular problems of family divorce. If the answer to the first question is longer and longer than the second, then we have an example of inflated expectations. About good deeds or the principle “You are for me, I am for you” Everything is clear and transparent with the mercantile interests of future spouses. A bride who dreams of living in an elite mansion will be deeply disappointed if she ends up in an ordinary small apartment after the wedding. But there is a serious problem associated with intangible values. As an example, I will give the situation of an ordinary evening in a family where both of its members are engaged in active work. The husband, returning home in the evening, dreams of a quiet cozy nest with a delicious dinner, of the warm affectionate embrace of his wife, who greets him with loving eyes and kind, gentle words. This normal desire of any man suddenly encounters unforeseen circumstances - the wife is also tired at work. It was a bad day for her, she had to be nervous a lot. I came home very late, didn’t have time to cook dinner, and also got caught in the rain and got wet. The man is unpleasantly surprised, his desires turn into inflated expectations. Disappointment sets in and the harmony of family relationships is destroyed. As a psychologist in Almaty, I recommend showing flexibility in this situation, not showing your selfish tendencies, but simply “reshaping” the project for a family evening. A man can simply take pity on a woman, say a few pleasant, kind words to her, give her a warm blanket and slippers. Sit next to him, stroke him, caress him. Warm up dinner together, show sympathy. And rest assured, a grateful response, a kind smile and a pleasant evening awaits you. Your plans have not been disrupted, but have been slightly adjusted. The principle “You give me, and I will give you”, or the approved “list of good deeds” is not appropriate here. What you did for your soulmate, you did initially for yourself. Feedback It is typical for every person to live in pleasure for themselves. So family is a bit of a challenge to that.