What does it mean to be comfortable? The answer suggests itself immediately: to be the way your loved ones or, in general, everyone around you wants to see you. Namely, not showing true uncomfortable emotions, being open to help, often contrary to one’s interests, not being able to say no, avoiding conflicts, and so on... We may know such people or be them. But where does all this come from? Spoiler: we all come from childhood. Each of us is born a “blank slate”. We don’t know that we can’t cry loudly, rejoice wildly, stamp our feet and scream. In infancy we have one thing - needs that must also be satisfied. Each baby loudly announces that he needs to eat, change his diaper, sleep, or is ready to get acquainted with the world. These are vital needs; without care, care, love, you cannot survive here. And the role of a parent is to respond to the little person’s challenges, to be there, to take on all the troubles. But not every parent is ready to do this, to become a reliable support for their child. And as they grow older, the needs cease to be so vital that some begin to ignore the needs and desires of the child for various reasons: “don’t scream, don’t make noise,” “don’t get angry - it’s bad,” “you never know what you want.” As a result, the little person understands that no matter how much he screams and cries, no one will come to him, he gets the experience of rejection, bitterness and disappointment, that his desires are not important. And the most important thing is that you can earn the love and attention of your parents only by giving up your desires, by guessing the desires of adults through convenience and goodness, otherwise they will not love you, they will be rejected, you will be left behind... And he learns well, he learns his life lesson. Therefore, a comfortable person is a person in search of love. He does a lot: make efforts, deny himself, just to be loved and accepted. And it is difficult for him to build boundaries, he suppresses his complex emotions, because this can affect others. As a result, what happens inside is a lot of anxiety... And all you want is love and warmth. But the problem here is that there is not even an opportunity not only to love yourself, but to see yourself entirely, because everything that is not ideal is hidden, hidden, not shown, in case someone sees it. And where is the way out? Recognize yourself, carefully and carefully get to know and accept your inner world of emotions, desires, needs. for example, it is possible to act differently in a safe environment. Admit to myself that what I do for others is not always what I want.