Man is a social being and therefore, from the first days of life, he tends to seek relationships. As an infant he builds relationships with partial objects, such as his mother's breast. He needs feeding not only for survival, but also for building the first emotional contact. The quality of all his future relationships largely depends on how he will be. In the first year of life, the basis of the personality is formed, by the age of five the backbone, and in adolescence, normal or pathological development becomes obvious. Problems during breastfeeding, such as loss of milk, aggression of the mother or baby, withdrawal, indicate the first violations in the emotional dialogue. Their decision is facilitated by the mother's ability to think deeply about her child. His psyche will begin to develop only if there is an object into which he can invest his anxieties, tenderness and anger. The mother’s task is to become such an object, to accept and process the child’s feelings, even if she doesn’t really like them. This will allow the child to develop a stable, healthy attachment, trust the mother and other people, and feel comfortable in relationships. Narcissistic, depressed and borderline mothers are often insensitive to the child’s emotional needs, reject him, try to love him to death, respond to aggression with aggression, etc. d. Their own resources are not enough to become a reliable attachment figure. This leads to a violation of the child’s attachment pattern and numerous problems in his adult relationships. Attachment disorders are divided into 4 types: - Ambivalent attachment, when a person is overwhelmed by two opposing feelings towards one object - love and hatred. At the same time, the child is in emotional contact with the mother, neither tender feelings nor anger are suppressed. This is one of the easiest violations. In adulthood, its carriers have a high chance of entering into a relationship. - Avoidant attachment leads to the fact that the child begins to avoid any trusting relationships, becomes withdrawn and gloomy. As he grows up, he accumulates negative experiences and the desire to form emotional closeness with other people decreases. Such people are often lonely. If they have a relationship, then they consciously or unconsciously do everything to destroy it and return to “safe” solitude. - Anxious attachment makes a person cling to objects of love. For other people, this causes irritation and a desire to distance themselves. Children with anxious attachment were often abandoned or neglected. As adults, they unconsciously choose those who will abandon them. The children's story is repeated in a new edition. They cannot stand relationships without attack and devaluation. In contact with them, even an emotionally warm person can turn into an abuser. Relationships are built on the sadomasochistic principle or fall apart. - Disorganized attachment is the most problematic type of attachment. It is formed when a child was openly disliked and emotional and/or physical violence was allowed against him. As an adult, such a child refuses love and idealizes power and strength in relationships. He does not strive to be loved, the main thing is to be feared. Relationships are built on the basis of suppression and control. Such disorders are usually irreversible. Avoidant, anxious or disorganized attachments can often be characteristic of borderline and narcissistic personality structures. The relationships of such people are extremely problematic; they are distinguished by: - ​​The desire to build relationships not with integral individuals, but with people-functions or fantasy objects. That is, a person does not even try to find out the true qualities and aspirations of a partner, but sees in him his fictitious ideal or values ​​him solely for the benefits that he is capable of bringing. As a result, the relationship acquires a consumer character,