From the author: Specific circumstances and personal data have been changed, published with the client's permission.4 Session... - I spent the whole week struggling with little Katya (at the previous session the client discovered , which in real life often perceives what is happening from the position of a little girl), because she is everywhere - her thoughts, her desires! I start a conversation with my husband after his next drink, and I realize that I’m talking more with little Katya, persuading her to leave me alone. But the more you move her away, the louder she screams... -What does she want? - So that everything would be according to her... So that they would feel sorry for her! -Where do these desires come from? -It has always been like this! (Tears) All the love always went to my brother, and I was an unwanted child... -How did you know about this? -That's what it's always been said. -Who specifically, remember. Remembering, with tears in your eyes, and with obvious resentment: “I’m little and adults are talking. But everything is in a fog, only my mother says that if she had not given birth to me, it would have been easier for everyone... It was always her conversations with someone that I heard. They spoke in front of me, but it was as if I was not there. The point was that it would be easier without me. Later I often asked my friends (smiles embarrassed), probably testing my understanding, why did you give birth to, for example, a third child - it’s hard, isn’t it? (as they asked my mother in front of me) and they always answered me something like: “Where there are three, there are four!” But her mother never said that... (Tears of resentment are flowing without stopping) - It sounds and looks as if adult Katya is sure that her mother did not love her? -Mother loved her brother. He received all the attention, she felt sorry for him. He was long awaited. It is the boy, as the successor of the family of his father and grandfather. She continued to give birth until she gave birth to a boy, and then I gave birth. I wanted to get rid of it, but the deadlines ran out, and nothing worked out, As my mother said, “You held on tight...” She said that when she gave birth to her brother, her grandfather, who was wealthy and it was very important for him to have an heir, bought an expensive shawl and laid it out in front of her mother when she and her brother were taken from the hospital. The attitude towards his brother was always different: his grandfather and father allowed him everything, and his mother idolized him. And then. When my brother had a boy, he was treated the same way. -It seems that for your mother, the opinion of your relatives was very important? -Yes. Most likely, this was the case. And life was really hard back then. And, of course, it would be easier to raise three than four... I understand all this, intellectually... but the resentment remains. -The resentment of a little girl who feels lonely and abandoned. Is that why she screams when she gets dumped again? -? -You said that these feelings come when your husband drinks. Then you again feel resentment and loneliness - Katya is abandoned again. When her husband is sober, she is calm - there is a reliable adult nearby, and nothing threatens her safety... This is a normal desire of any child, so that there is always someone nearby who ensures safety... - Yes, when he is drunk, only little Katya remains and she is very scared ... -Someone needs to calm her down and be an adult for her, providing security. - Should I do this? (Laughing) It turns out that now I have two children... Suddenly, there is fear in my eyes: “Now I understand!” (pause, lost in my thoughts) A year ago I had a dream that I could not understand, but it scared me very much. I read the literature, I thought, but today he opened up completely, would you like to tell me? - Of course. - In a dream, I arrived home and my mother came out to meet me. She takes me into our hall, and this is no longer our hall, but chambers: there is beauty all around, everything is carved, and there are heavy burgundy velvet curtains on the walls. But there are no windows. And, despite the beauty, it is damp, gloomy and creepy. “Why are there no windows?” - I ask. “And they were never here.” I felt scared and was about to leave, but I didn’t see the door. I say “Mom, it’s time for me to go home.” She responds: “This is now your home, you won’t leave here anymore.” And she takes out some big thick book in a red velvet binding. “You see, it says here: you have completed your mission. And I must stay” I cried and»…