Nobody needs me. In the end I will be alone. There are no reliable, predictable people next to me. I don't have stable support. The person I love will definitely leave me, cheat on me, betray me, or die. I despair when I see people in love who are doing well in their relationships. I am so afraid that I will be rejected that I myself want to devalue and reject the person. I am suspicious and tense in relationships. I always want to check my partner's phone to make sure he is reliable and not cheating on me. I often swing from side to side: either I really need other people, or I decide that I don’t need close relationships at all. I get desperate when someone I love moves away from me. I am having a hard time being separated from a loved one. If at least one statement resonates with you, then most likely you all have a scheme of Rejection. A “scheme” is a kind of life scenario that combines deep-seated negative beliefs that originated when you were still a child. And because this scenario is “bad”, rigid, you cannot act the way you want. You are completely under his influence. The scenario of the Rejection Schema is that a person experiences fear of being rejected and builds relationships in such a way that in them he feels abandoned and lonely. It is because of this schema that most likely you have problems in your personal life. Let's Let's figure out how this scheme came about for you. This will give you the opportunity to better understand yourself and the problems you are having in your relationships. SOURCES OF REJECTION: - As a child, one of your parents died or left the family; - You often had to be in the hospital or your mother was separated from you for a long time; - You were afraid that your parents would divorce when they fought a lot among themselves; - You were raised by nannies , grandmothers, or you were sent to an institution where you spent a lot of time; - When you were a child, you were sent to a nursery very early; - You were not given enough attention in the family, you often had to be alone with yourself, which made you feel feeling lonely; - Your mother abused alcohol, drugs, suffered from depression or suffered from a serious illness; -- You had a brother or sister and began to pay less attention to you; You may also have a biological predisposition to separation anxiety, which in turn can cause a fear of loneliness. As you understand, your fear of being rejected has reasons that lie in your distant childhood. And the earlier the stable connection with your mother (parent) was disrupted, the more vulnerable you became in childhood and the more intense the rejection pattern will manifest itself in you. When a person’s rejection pattern is activated, he experiences fear, anxiety, a feeling of loneliness, uselessness, abandonment. The body may feel like a huge, black hole or a cold and bottomless abyss. These are such difficult and unbearable feelings that a person tries to do everything possible so that this mental pain does not bother him. Therefore, he chooses any means to cope with the scheme and suppress it. In this regard, each scheme leads to a reaction that is ineffective for a person - this reaction is called coping (defensive) behavior. Let's look at 3 types of coping reactions of the Rejection scheme. 1. Surrender to the Abandonment pattern: Choosing partners who cannot be faithful, stable and predictable. Maintain relationships with them; 2. Avoiding the Rejection Pattern: Avoiding close relationships for fear of being rejected; 3. Overcompensation of the Abandonment scheme: You cling to your partners and create unbearable conditions for them until they run away; You violently attack your partners even for short breakups. Pushing partners away while exhibiting controlling or possessive behavior. Most likely, the fear of being rejected is preventing you from building healthy and harmonious relationships. Therefore, first of all, you need: +7 967 194-87-44.