Or, on the contrary, everyone around is smart. Or evil. And they behave somehow incorrectly, not in the right way, it would be correct otherwise, and this is understandable to everyone except himself. Or something else is absolutely clear to you, as obvious and clear as possible about a person, it doesn’t matter. The point is that this is not true. We make our reaction to a person a characteristic of the person. Often. Very often. That’s it, the thought will not develop further, since it may be short, but it is very capacious (try reading it out loud several times slowly, each time slowing down more and more - we do this in the office when we need to understand a difficult thought) And again : our reaction to a person and the characteristics of a person are two completely different constructs, they have nothing in common. Nothing at all, absolutely. There is your reaction to a person and how you deal with this reaction, what you do with it next. Remember from the last - what you talked about person? Who was given the description? How did you characterize the other? Now it is important to agree that this is your reaction to him and nothing more. YOUR REACTION Now listen carefully to what your mind brings up as counter-arguments, how does it argue? These emotional “how can...? but I...?! but he..!!?!” and everything like that. Write this dispute down on paper and bring it to a psychologist - this process creates enormous internal tension. Everything would be fine, but this tension needs space and you know whose it takes? The place of your well-being. Do you need it? Or do you want good things? Think for yourself, decide for yourself, as they say, but the tension is perfectly removed if you are interested in it. I am very allergic to the word “working through”, but if something needs to be “worked through”, then this is it. Well, and also the desire to set your boundaries so that the relationship improves (spoiler - everything works quite the opposite) Recognizing and understanding another person is not an easy task. There is no wild tension in this, this process does not require super-effort, however, it has a clear algorithm and it has nothing to do with “I have lived with him for a long time and know him better than he does” and “I understand people very well “I just need to look at anyone and I’ll tell you what he’s like.” This is all fantasy. Reality is on the other side. It is important to be in touch with reality so that you feel good with yourself and with others. If you don’t feel good, come, let’s figure out how far reality has run away from you and how to bring it back into your life again