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Generation conflict. How not to conflict? “My mother always gets involved in all my relationships with men. I can’t choose a man on my own, I always have to consult with her.” “My parents constantly control what we do with our husband. How do we relax? Why do we go to bed so late? Why are there no children? Because of this, our relationship is deteriorating and quarrels have become more frequent.” “My mother-in-law considers it necessary to get involved in the process of raising our children. She controls everything: how we feed, how we walk, how we spend time, what we teach. This is starting to annoy me." What to do? Help. And there are very, very many such stories that people come to me with. The younger generation does not want to live in the thoughts of their parents, and the adult generation cannot stop themselves and live their own lives. How to help such people? First of all, you need to understand: the cause of the conflict, the initiators of the conflict, the subject of the conflict. Family conflict is the same conflict as in any other area. And the ability to resolve it, to get out of it correctly does not come immediately, you need to learn it. The cause of conflicts can be different, but in any case, it is a rejection of views and a reluctance to understand and hear each other, and this, in turn, is often hampered by the already established stereotypical behavior, emotional reactions to each other, resentment, anger, disrespect, the desire to “be superior,” the desire to teach rather than help. Despite all this, it is still important to start somewhere. If you're really struggling with this type of relationship, it's time to take the first step. It doesn’t matter at all which side it will be on. If this question arises for you, then it’s time to take responsibility for your life and do everything to make it better and the way you want. I understand that it’s not easy to take the first step, it takes time and preparation, support and new knowledge. In this article I want to share with you some of the steps that I discuss with my clients when they want to resolve a generational conflict. The first and most important thing is a clearly formed desire to live without conflict. At the same time, realizing that the result will be correct relationships between generations, the ability to live independently and maintain good family relationships based on trust and mutual assistance. Understanding each other. The essence of the older generation is in their wisdom, in the continuation of their personal lives (you have already fulfilled your main function - parents, now it’s time to live for yourself and be simply useful and necessary for your children, passing on wisdom and experience to the younger generation. Wisdom is not , so that an opinion is imposed, and in timely given advice, which is expected and sought. When you really want to give advice, then first ask yourself the question “now I’m doing this because I want to (do something to them.., give them.. , tell them..., show them..., prove to them..., warn them...). The essence of the younger generation is to build your own life, to continue the family line, to take responsibility for your life and the life of your family, to realize yourself, and also to honor the older generation. Be independent in everything, and not interact selectively with your elders. respect and understanding. Understanding of responsibility. Everyone has their own responsibility: both the younger generation and the adult generation are responsible to themselves, to each other, to their actions and words. When we adequately assess what is happening to us and around us, then life puts everything in its place, we stop blaming each other, and just do our job. Understanding the cause of the conflict. Here it is important to understand why the parties are conflicting: is it some kind of personal beliefs, is it a real danger, is it a desire to help or prove something? Not willing to accept help? Rejection of the person himself? Of course, there is no smoke without fire, and both sides are always to blame in conflicts. And both sides need it

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