Every parent wants his child to be obedient, flexible, understand everything that is told to him, and draw conclusions like an adult and, of course, not make mistakes. But in reality, children are rarely obedient; they often make mistakes, do not understand much, and require a lot of attention and patience from adults. And adults often forget that in front of them is a person who is just learning to live and interact with others and, of course, he learns exclusively from his mistakes. At the same time, worried parents feel exhausted and confused. “Oh, this little devil is completely uncontrollable, I’m so tired...”, “I don’t know what to do, she’s so stubborn...”, “This little demon is throwing me off balance...” - these are the words that can be heard from parents who are tired of “fighting.” " with own children. Why “fight” you ask? Yes, because parents perceive any resistance of the child as a challenge, and begin to build a plan on how to influence their child. And the child, in turn, hatches a small plan for revenge on parents who do not understand him in the form of disobedience, hysterics, whims, etc. What is the cause of all these disagreements between parents and children? Firstly, it is the desire of parents to see “ideal” children or similar to someone close to them or to the parents themselves. And when adults realize that the child does not correspond to their ideas of what he should be, they immediately begin to remake him. “She’s not at all like me...”, “When I was little, my mother only had to look at me for me to understand that something was wrong...”, “He does what he wants, we couldn’t afford it.” in childhood…". Inconsistency makes you angry and tired. What is the way out? And there is only one way out: accept the child with his characteristics and character, pay attention to positive character traits. For example, what appears to be disobedience may be merely the ability to stand your ground. Love your child not because he is smart, beautiful, strong, etc., but because you simply have him. Ask yourself: “Why do I need to see an obedient child?”, most likely the answer will be something like this: “To make it easier for me.” And what does the child have to do with it then...Secondly, very often children rebel against the inconsistency in the actions and words of their parents or the difference in positions in the upbringing of their parents. For example, mom told me to pack up the toys and threatened to punish her, some time passed, mom got busy with housework and forgot about her demands, and everything remained as it was. It seems to adults that children do not notice such “mistakes” of their parents, but in fact, they begin to take advantage of this, which later results in conflicts and reluctance to do what their parents ask. Or another example: mom allows you to go for a walk, but dad doesn’t. Dad allows him to run around the apartment, but mom doesn’t. Such situations cause confusion in the child. A lack of understanding of the difference in requirements leads to an active search for answers to the question: “What else can I…” or “What will happen next if I do or don’t do this…”. Moreover, children at different ages do this in different ways. Kids are capricious and stubborn unconsciously, simply because they don’t understand anything; older children consciously try to drive their parents out because they get tired of the vague demands of their parents, who refute each other. Conclusion: the requirements and rules of both parents should be the same. The coordination of the actions of both parents does not cause the child a feeling of injustice and a desire to test the nerves of his own parents. Every time you want to accuse the child of disobedience (hysterics, bickering, crying, whims, stubbornness...) ask yourself: “What am I doing for for my child to behave like this? Of course, the question seems unusual. It’s easier to think that the child is to blame for everything, but is it really the child’s fault that he cannot cope with his emotions and manage his behavior? Perhaps the reason is the reactions or!