And memories can be unpleasant. It’s impossible to forget, and it’s impossible to get rid of it either. What do we do? Amputate this part of life? It doesn’t work, it sits like a thorn. We erased it with other pleasant memories - that didn’t work either. So, we’ll make changes to the memories themselves. Somewhere there, in these memories, sits an unwise thought about yourself or a negative feeling. If you dig hard enough, the excavations will yield information. So, for example, let’s take the familiar metaphor “A brick fell on my head,” time passes, but the memories do not go away. Let's start the analysis..First stage.1 step. Recreating a picture of what happened. I remember that day, what I was doing, what happened the day before. I decided to walk down the street, I see a brick flying...step 2. Analysis of your actions. Actions that subsequently seem wrong, erroneous, can cause a feeling of guilt or aggression towards oneself. A) “Why did I go there, I didn’t even have to go out into that street.” It has already happened, it has become the past and it cannot be changed. And no matter how much we tell ourselves with regret about what happened, if we do not reconcile and accept the fact of what happened, it will remain an unfinished and unpleasant event. B) “I saw the brick! Should have seen him and reacted! You should have stopped, run away, or calculated its speed and angle of fall!” These are already options for possible actions, the so-called “ladder wit,” when all the options for the CORRECT decision come after this happened. B) “Perhaps you should have put on a helmet” . Then not a single defense option worked, as you think. You take responsibility for what happened and begin to blame yourself for it. Step 3. Analysis of negative feelings. How did I feel when I saw the brick flying? What did you feel then? When others learned about my story with the brick, how did I feel? Did I have the opportunity to receive support? Was there an opportunity to share this unpleasant story with someone? One way or another, but now you are experiencing regret, guilt, your own or someone else’s, shame, resentment... And this brings a lot of unpleasant moments in life. “I regret that I went under this roof with bricks” “It’s my fault that this happened to me” “I’m ashamed to even remember what happened then”, etc. All these thoughts and reasoning do not bring relief, they continue to ruin your life. And then we proceed to the next stage of work, modeling. Second stage. Modeling or reformation. There are no restrictions on imagination; you can imagine all possible and unrealistic versions of the situation. It is better if there are several such episodes or “series” and one of them turns out to be healing. And you will say to yourself, “Yes, of course! Why didn’t this thought immediately occur to me!” For example, I can give you this version of the simulation (with the same BRICK): “You are walking down the street, it’s cool and the leaves are already starting to fly. But some sheet turned out to be heavier than others and you understand that it was a brick. You are hurt and upset, but you are alive and well, nothing threatens you anymore.” Options can be non-accusatory, accepting, with humor or gratitude for what happened. There may be options when you could defend yourself or behave aggressively. Or there might be an option when you avoided this unpleasant situation if... So, the main tasks of working on unpleasant memories: Change your attitude towards yourself, your feelings, the event; get rid of negative thoughts and feelings; Reconcile, accept. Tell yourself that what happened to you could happen and is happening to other people. Then, over time, this episode in your life will become one of the events of the past and your memory will begin to erase it. If you do not work in the metaphor with a BRICK, then feelings, thoughts, the situation itself will be analyzed and processed completely differently, since unpleasant memories are yours and they are very individual .But this thought process or analysis of old negative feelings gives amazing results.