Sometimes we can catch the idea floating in society that the manifestation of aggression is unacceptable. It seems like we grow up with this understanding. But is all aggression really so bad? We should not forget that if we have some kind of feeling, then it cannot be bad. When we feel aggression within ourselves, we can say that we feel angry. And aggression itself will most likely manifest itself in behavior. Aggression can be roughly divided into 2 types: constructive and destructive. Constructive aggression is aimed at self-defense, as well as achieving goals. Aggression is present in a competitive environment. To be the best athlete or win a grant for a project, a dose of aggression will not hurt, or rather, it will even help. Are we angry that a colleague can bake pies? Great, let's put our aggression into making the most delicious pie, finding the best recipe, purchasing the best ingredients and off we go. This aggression will motivate us to become better at it. Are we angry that our opponent beats us in a bike race? Adrenaline gives us strength. Let's put it into winning this race! We also need a healthy dose of aggression when we assert our boundaries. If we feel anger or indignation when communicating with a person, this may be a signal of a violation of boundaries. Does the partner yell at us, does not hear our requests to change the tone and does not respond to our attempts to calm him down? Anger boils within us because our partner violates our boundaries with such treatment. We hear ourselves, our feelings, our anger and tell him that we cannot be treated like that. “I feel angry when they raise their voice at me. You can’t talk to me in that tone, I can’t hear you like that, I can’t perceive you.” The second type of aggression is destructive: a manifestation of rejection, hatred, rage, vindictiveness, etc. We observed this in the previous example from a partner who raised his voice at us. This is also a type of self-defense caused by violent negative experiences (prolonged stress, physical/psychological pain, fatigue, etc.). Such aggression is destructive not only for others, but also for the person himself, and signals that you need to pay attention to yourself and your feelings. What is happening to me? Why do I react this way? What am I reacting to? How do I feel towards this? Where is the line between these types of aggression? In the same place as with all other actions and behavior - where the boundaries of another person begin. Now we don’t take into account auto-aggression, more on that later. We may not be able to cope with the feelings that are inside us for various reasons. This truth is often difficult. What will happen if aggression develops into destructive, I think it’s clear - conflicts, resentment, traumatization, etc. Some may say that you can simply not show aggression, and always be a positive, comfortable person. In our culture it is often said that displaying aggression is “bad” and “unacceptable”, and, in general, these are some evil people; good people do not behave this way. And it’s not that this ban is so inadequate (it even protects us in many ways), but it does not take into account another important non-destructive side of aggression. It also eliminates the possibility of releasing aggression in an acceptable form. Thus, we can say that aggression can be useful, it helps to achieve goals and protect oneself. This may be difficult for others to accept; it is inconvenient for them. But it is important to remember that the most important thing we have is ourselves. And if we don’t take care, first of all, of ourselves, then we will not have the resources, including to take care of our loved ones.