It's true - narcissists and abusers always come back. Often, when studying information about narcissists, you can come across such a term as “Ping”. Let's figure it out. Ping is the appearance of a person after a breakup, often unexpected. This can be in any form - a call, SMS, like on a photo, a reminder of yourself through acquaintances and friends, changing your avatar - anything that can make you remember him. Most often, this happens after a difficult breakup, when the person has already begun to recover and adapt to the new reality, but that was not the case... At such a moment, it seems to the narcissist’s victim that he has realized something, wants to talk, apologize, establish communication, just drink coffee. This is the main mistake. It is important to understand that people with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) lack empathy and self-reflection. As soon as the so-called “mental umbilical cord” begins to break between the Narcissist and his victim, and the victim gets to his feet and begins to see the world around him, the narcissist feels it at some biochemical level. His goal is to return the victim to the place that belongs to him - the place of a broken, weak-willed person. The narcissist gets pleasure from this and feels his own power; he needs to be owned. Very often, girls and women confuse this with sincere feelings and love. But it is important to remember that narcissists do not know how to love. It is difficult for a traumatized codependent person to understand that they do not love her, not because there is nothing to love her for, but because there are people who by nature do not know how to love. All they need is to return it, break it and leave again. How to behave if narcissists return? The only solution is complete non-contact, stopping all communication. Block all social networks, delete shared photos, videos, ask relatives and friends not to discuss, not to remind. You can finally get rid of such people only when they return and you have not accepted them. They didn’t communicate, didn’t accept congratulations, didn’t accept money or help, didn’t meet “in a friendly way.” It is very important not to play a game with him, not to wait, not to pretend, not to deceive yourself, not to betray yourself, but to make a decision once and for all and cut him out of your life. Narcissists return because there is room for it, which means the victim allowed it again and again. When you leave, leave and bury such relationships through pain - this is the only way out. Tough, clear and not a step back. If you are in an abusive relationship, you are having a hard time and need support, I can help you. Psychologist Ekaterina Fedotova, Whatsapp 8-985-044-06-56