From the author: Unrequited love in examples, hypotheses and a plan for understanding oneself. Isn’t this the eternal mockery of love, that a woman cannot love the one who loves her? Shakespeare Our World is so cruel and beautiful at the same time. I want the love in him to always be reciprocal, pure, sincerely happy, but alas, our World is structured differently. And then you walk down the street one fine day and see him, he is dazzlingly beautiful, he has everything for you, he is your ideal ideal, and you feel how something turns over in you and you understand that I can’t live without him, I don’t want to, I only need him! He is my everything. But alas, you find out that the object of desire is out of reach, he simply does not look at you as someone he can love. And now the tragedy, act one begins: you are not Aphrodite, but beautiful in both mind and body. - “What’s wrong with me?” -You start asking yourself. - “What does he need? I’m ready to be anyone as long as he loves me.” And this is your first fatal mistake. How can he love you if you yourself don’t know who you are and how you should be with you, because you are ready to be anyone just to be with him. Then act two begins, you begin to find out the reasons for his dislike and obsess over it like an obsessed person: He is not married, has no loved one, and still doesn’t look in my direction, and I can’t live without him. - “So what’s the matter? What else should I do?” This stream of thoughts is constantly spinning in your head, various pictures of a happy or unhappy life without him or with him are added to it, and here it is - Your circle of hell, into which you have driven yourself, congratulations! Now you have a formed mental - a fantasy attachment to a person, from which you, by the way, get pleasure and still want to complete your gestalt, which, alas, is unrealizable in this direction. He still doesn’t care, but you’re in excruciating pain. Let’s move on to act three. You thought a lot and decided you won’t be full with thoughts alone, you need to act! But alas, all his offers come down to friendship, if he has no heart and understanding at all, in this friendship he begins to increase his self-esteem, he is pleased with your attention and he flatters himself by the fact that he has a fan, while there is no “worthy” one, or he says: “Sorry, we can’t be together, you’re not my type, I don’t look at you as a woman, etc.” And this is a more worthy and competent answer for such a situation, because then the person does not want to give you false hopes. And what is happening to you?! Both in the first and second options, in the first he gives hope and you cling to it like a drowning man, and in the second you tell yourself, well, he is still shy, not ready for a relationship and you give yourself hope again, continue to live it and keep the image of your joint further happiness in your head. Although it is not present in either the first or second case. Act four is the climax. You waited for him for 5 years, interrupting for some short affairs, without breaking the connection with him in your dreams, fantasies, short fleeting meetings, or you are still friends, but then you wake up one fine day and understand: - "Five years has passed and there are no hints of happiness together, now you realize this, the veil of oblivion has been removed from your eyes. Now you are excruciatingly painful from the fact that all those moments that connected you were just a play of your imagination, or born of the cruelty of his heart, but. you are standing in ruins and the hope for a new bright future is quietly smoldering ahead, in which you will be smarter and close your heart with 1000 locks so that no one can hurt you. Now ask yourself and honestly answer these questions. You are the one who loved. so unrequited or continues to live with this agony and its ghosts: Why do I need this love? What dangers does it protect me from? What prevents me from loving someone who will really care about me? How can I find the way out of my darkness and do I need to look for it? What? gives me this feeling and am I ready to part with it? All these answers will help you understand yourself much better, ease your pain, because understanding is already half the way to a solution.