If the client has some difficulty or problem of choice, if he does not understand what he wants, then there is some kind of trauma behind it. The inability to make a choice indicates that some parts of the client cannot satisfy their needs in any of the available ways. As an example, I would like to share a case from practice. A client (let’s call her Christina), 35 years old, was “stuck” on a question choosing a guest sofa for a new apartment. All the furniture has been bought and arranged a long time ago, but she can’t choose a sofa. And this became such a problem for her that she decided to bring it to work during one of her psychotherapy sessions. In the process of working, when we found out what criteria the sofa should meet, it turned out that her criteria conflicted with her ideas about how to use this piece of furniture. So, in order. In January, Christina buys a sofa. Beautiful, roomy, with expensive upholstery and stylish design. But... not happy! It is important to note that guests who stay overnight on the sofa praise how comfortable, high-quality, and solid it is. And Christina agrees with them, but for some reason she can’t give up the idea of ​​getting rid of it. Six months later, Christina still decides to change the sofa and is surprised... with a huge variety of models in stores and the opportunity to make a sofa to order, she can’t even come close find a model that suits her at least visually. Let's look at the criteria: The sofa should be stylish, airy, light, compact, comfortable for reading and relaxing (with an adjustable backrest at different angles). The sofa should be roomy, practical, at least 2 m in length, and at least 1.6 m wide so that two people can comfortably sit on it for the night. And this is where the fun begins. Christina casually mentioned that she actually really doesn’t like guests in her apartment. We began to analyze this issue in more detail and identified the exact opposite attitudes: If guests (primarily relatives) arrived, it is important to show hospitality, create comfortable conditions, show that “I care what you sleep on,” receive praise and compliments to good taste and to be useful, good and correct. I don’t like guests. I don't want them to stay with me. I don’t want to create conditions in which staying with me would be a more comfortable option. And I don’t want to refuse guests either. After we began to analyze the reasons for her “dislike” for guests, Christina remembered that as a child, she was often offended by her parents because guests were always more important, their interests were often placed higher than the interests of the children (her and her sister). Everything is the best for the guests, everything is delicious. They lived modestly, but she especially remembered that when guests came, sweets and delicacies “from secret cellars” magically appeared on the table. And as soon as the guests left, the family went back to “navy-style soups and pasta.” In therapy, we worked on strengthening and understanding our own identity, sorted out counterdependent behavior patterns, and Christina’s choice of the sofa was made in favor of her own interests. But guests will also be able to stay on it if necessary, though not with such comfort and scope as before, but still)