From the author: the author's column was published in the magazine psychologies With the approach of our thirtieth anniversary, we are entering a new period of life: a reassessment of values ​​begins, an awareness of our true age. Some people have the feeling that they have lived all the time incorrectly and in vain. In fact, such thoughts are the absolute norm, as psychologists found out back in the 20th century. They analyzed the problems of generations, comparing the experiences of people throughout their lives at the same age, and formed the theory of seven-year cycles. The point is that a person goes through many such cycles: from birth to 7 years, from 7 to 14, from 14 to 21, from 21 to 28, from 28 to 35 and so on. A person looks back at the past years and forms the habit of weighing everything that happened in each specific period. The first, most conscious, from 21 to 28 years old smoothly flows into the second - from 28 to 35 years. In these cycles there is already an understanding of family and a desire to build it, to realize oneself in a profession and to anchor oneself as a successful person. We also gain a foothold in society, accept its framework, and share the beliefs that it dictates. If all the cycles went smoothly, then the crisis will pass the person and the person has nothing to worry about. But if they were painful, then dissatisfaction with oneself, the environment and life in general often grows. But transformation of perception and worldview is possible, and it is especially easy during the period between the two main conscious cycles. We can strive for perfection, but often it is very illusory and vague, or we can simply turn to ourselves, to our feelings, ask questions at the “have, do and be” level: “What are the goals of your life? What do you really want? Where do you want to be in a year? After 10 years? Where?". If a person cannot spontaneously answer these questions, most likely, this means that there is a ripe need to get to know oneself and accept oneself, to turn to one’s desires, and not to the beliefs of others. This dialogue allows you to go on an inner journey towards your deepest desires. For some it is unusual and new, for others it is scary to admit their true aspirations, but it pays off. Everyone can discover new facets of themselves through observations of their internal attitudes, through the analysis of desires and their distribution into their own and others. Then comes the understanding that everyone can create their own life and that all limiting beliefs can be transformed into supportive ones and move only forward without losing yourself. How to understand yourself? Before asking yourself the above questions, take a comfortable position, relax, feel every breath. Our body is the main teller. If the goal or desire does not come from you, but is formulated out of a sense of duty or responsibility, the body will produce discomfort and tension. It is not easy to answer these questions, as internal resistance may arise. This can start to make you angry, destructive thoughts will appear in your head: “why do I need this?”, “this is difficult, I’ll think about it tomorrow.” But they must be discarded immediately, because this is the most useful thing you can do for yourself. Overcoming resistance and entering into internal dialogue, seeing the desired result - this, most often, becomes a new start. When communicating with people, we unconsciously give instructions on how to behave with us, how to communicate. Also, with our internal state, we give attitudes to ourselves, while losing our personality. The main role is played by what we believe about reality. Identifying such beliefs is difficult, but possible in different ways. Exercise 1 An exercise that helps to identify beliefs, sort them out like a bunch of grapes, disconnecting each berry from the branch, consists of written answers to the following questions: 1. What do you believe in now that you are older, but realize that you are living wrong?2. What did your parents and other important people believe from your childhood about how you can grow up but live wrong?3. What did they tell you when they said that you were growing up, but building your life incorrectly? Which.