The idea of ​​assertiveness as a special personality trait appeared back in the 1950s and 60s. It can be defined as the ability to defend one’s rights, regulate one’s behavior, maintain independence from external assessments, while respecting the rights and choices of other people. Therefore, assertive behavior can be imagined as an alternative to both passive and aggressive behavior. At the same time, despite its apparent simplicity, it is quite difficult to develop such behavior; much more often the way out of passive behavior occurs to the other extreme - aggressive. Both passive and aggressive behavior differ from assertiveness in the lack of self-esteem and respect for the dignity of other people. Feelings are based on dignity lies in agreement with the idea that every person has a basic, undeniable value and the possibility of freedom of choice. The logical consequence is respect for feelings, conclusions and decisions, as well as the need to take responsibility for them. In a passive position, a person accepts the lack of respect for his feelings, ideas and decisions, and also “accepts” (or does not know how to resist) irresponsibility partner. Often in this case, a feeling of humiliation or depression is experienced, which is opposite in spirit to a sense of self-esteem. In an aggressive position, a person refuses respect and responsibility in principle. Anger, contempt and self-affirmation at the expense of others are also far from self-esteem and calm self-respect. Let's look at some principles of assertive behavior from the point of view of respect and dignity. Everyone has the right to openly express their position, including defending their rights and expressing feelings. Everyone has the right to rely on their own assessments, feelings and views. Everyone is responsible for their behavior, the decisions they make and the form in which their feelings are expressed. Everyone is responsible for the open and clear expression of their position. Everyone is responsible for the ability to be open to the opinions of others and the ability to listen. Everyone has the right to change views, mistakes and ignorance or misunderstanding of something. Everyone is responsible for the consequences of their mistakes, ignorance or misunderstanding. Everyone has the right to refuse, including without providing additional explanations and justifications for this. It is necessary to respect the right of another person to refuse you. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect, which is impossible without respect for a partner. Everyone has the right to independence from the assessments of other people, to the opportunity to be indifferent to certain things. It is necessary to respect the right of another person not to be influenced by my assessments and not to take them into account in some situations. It can be easily seen that the principles work through mutual respect and self-esteem. Without these components, assertiveness can easily turn into aggressive behavior that devalues ​​others. Thank you for your attention! Subscribe to my telegram channel https://t.me/psychology_of_alivenessSign up for a consultation @pershikova_psychoanalyst