Do you perceive someone else's success as your own failure? Are you afraid to go into an expensive store because you think that your appearance will reveal your insolvency? Do you buy things that cost above your actual income level? If not, don’t read further :) Do you remember when you were a child, your mother said: “Look, all the other kids are walking clean, but you’re all dirty, ah ah ah.”? You may not remember, but you yourself tell your children something similar. If you speak, then you definitely heard. One way or another, you carry this program within yourself - to be no worse than others. We were raised that way. During collectivization, it was unsafe to stand out. Modern society is more tolerant of otherness. But the fear of becoming an outcast is a basic fear that has lived in us since the time when expulsion from the tribe meant death. To be different from everyone else = to be expelled. To be expelled = to perish. Historical memory says: “Be like everyone else - it’s safe.” Today, in order to be like everyone else, we must strive for success. And success today is associated with the opportunity to enjoy the benefits of civilization. Civilization in our execution is technical progress. If you don’t strive to dress in brands, buy new gadgets, travel around the world, know 2 languages, have a spectacular appearance, something is clearly wrong with you. What will you post on social networks? Your child is already three, but he is not yet learning English? And this doesn't bother you one bit? Exactly? What about the competition of the future? You live and think that you are independent. That trends and stuff don’t affect you. But the attitude “to be no worse than others” works. Twenty years ago, others with whom we could compare ourselves lived next door, worked with us, and sometimes we met them at the resorts of the Krasnodar region. In short, these were people of approximately the same social group, living in approximately the same conditions. Now, in the information space, we observe the lives of people whom we would hardly meet on the street. And they would be even less likely to be invited into their circle. And above all this splendor, the slogan develops that everything is real, and there is no need to limit yourself in dreams. “He did it, so can you!” “Pay only 15 thousand and a girl living in London and working with the best film studios in Britain will teach you how to be a successful director. Yes, yes, in two weeks. Perhaps, by the way, this will not be a useless course. You will learn that even with a budget for filming and cool equipment, you have to get up at six in the morning and work until late in the evening without being distracted by social networks. But if you associate yourself with the presenter, and hope to achieve the same results in a short time, you will be disappointed. So much so that film directing will seem like a bad choice. We compare ourselves with examples that are far from our reality, and this pulls the rug out from under legs. So “to be no worse than others” takes on the meaning of “all or nothing.” And constantly falling behind in the race for the impossible maintains anxiety and powerlessness. The joy of real life is based on enduring values: respect, genuine interest in the personality of another, the ability to be happy for others without comparing with yourself. To find happiness you need to develop a sense of your own worth as an individual and a sense of belonging (togetherness) to society. At the real level of live interaction that is available to you.A. Adler wrote that a person, trying to overcome helplessness, seeks superiority, “life, next to life.” And he misses life itself, loses touch with his real self.