Infertility and miscarriage. How to cope with pain The inability to conceive, bear and give birth to a baby normally almost always traumatizes a woman, causing her to have many difficult thoughts and experiences. The longer you fail to become a mother, the more negativity usually accumulates. Someone is trying to finally see the coveted two lines on the test, but cannot get pregnant. And someone gets pregnant easily, but is unable to carry the baby to term, because . Spontaneous termination of pregnancy occurs for one reason or another. Any option is very painful for a woman. Today I am with one of these difficult stories. (permission for publication is available, name and some details have been changed) After the wedding, Marina and her husband planned to live a little for themselves, so they did not intend to have children in the coming years. Each of them developed a career and were busy with their professional fulfillment. Plus, the young people loved to travel and before the birth of the child they decided to travel to as many planned places as possible. After 6 happy years of marriage, they started talking about their first child. They decided that the time had come and it was time for them to become parents. Pregnancy occurred almost immediately as soon as the protection was removed, and Marina was simply in seventh heaven when she saw the test result. In the evening, she and her husband rejoiced together and discussed how and what would happen now. They argued a little about whose wonderful character their baby should inherit and what abilities he would need to develop as a preschooler. Agreed. Trouble came unexpectedly, as it usually does. During the day at work, Marina began to have a slight discharge, but she did not immediately go to the doctor. By the evening, her stomach began to hurt and after her shift she was taken from the clinic to the hospital. Everything that happened next happened like in the worst dream. No, even worse. Her life and world were split into before and after. Almost all women who have experienced miscarriage describe what they can remember with the same phrases: “I knew this could happen to someone. But, of course, it definitely couldn’t happen to me.” “I didn’t want to leave the hospital. I just wanted to lie there and lie on the bed. It would be better to disappear altogether.” “I didn’t know how I would look my husband in the eyes. We were so happy before.” “Perhaps it’s better for me to get a divorce so that my husband can have children with another woman. children and will be an excellent father. He doesn’t deserve this.” “I can’t go to work. I can’t imagine how to survive the looks and questions of my colleagues. Why did I just tell everyone about the pregnancy.” “My husband’s parents would be happy. I’m not a match for their son.” “It’s natural for a woman to give birth to children, no matter where you look, but I couldn’t.”❓ What to do with all this? How to deal with such pain? How to live further? How to plan a new pregnancy? How to stay happy in a relationship? I wrote a lot about how to help yourself with infertility, miscarriage, the IVF procedure. Now briefly about the heroine’s situation: how can you help yourself?☑️ Despite the fact that now you want to “be silent forever,” you must definitely talk. You need to talk about what happened and your pain.☑️ Crying and grieving is normal, it’s natural and right. Don’t forbid yourself to cry.☑️ Ask for support from your husband, discuss your and his feelings with him. This is a shared grief. Share it with each other.☑️ Don’t give up your current affairs and worries. This allows you to feel better and be closer to real life.☑️ The help of a psychologist will be very helpful here. He knows how to help you. Don't be ashamed of what happened, don't make plans for an appointment, just call your specialist.☑️ There are many practices that help cope with such grief. There are many things you can do with a psychologist. Something suitable for self-help. See the answers and exercises in the link above and in this article How to survive perinatal loss💗Dear expectant mothers, I have been helping women with infertility and miscarriage for many years