Although cognitive psychotherapy does not set as its goal a mandatory detailed immersion in the past, unearthing childhood stories and traumas, but rather works more with the present, it is still impossible to do without memories of childhood. It is in childhood, in the child-parent relationship, that there are sources of basic beliefs that do not allow an adult to be happy. Parental criticism, emotional instability of parents, lack of emotional support, blocking the expression of negative emotions - all this subsequently leads to basic self-doubt, and to the feeling that no one is interested in your feelings, and to an overly acute perception of rejection, and much to what. To remember how it was in childhood, to separate childhood from the present, when a person is an adult and is no longer helpless and can catch up, compensate and rethink a lot - it is very important. And here problems often arise in therapy. The client states: I had an absolutely happy childhood. Or he simply doesn’t want to discuss and remember what was wrong. The following attitudes conflict with awareness of children's pain: you cannot be angry with your parents. By scolding my parents, I betray them. This is especially true in cases where the parents generally wanted the best for the child, loved him and tried to raise him as well as they could. But their own limitations did not allow this. They themselves were weak, depressed, emotionally unstable, overprotective with the best intentions, perfectionists - there are many options. It’s just that when a child has been subjected to blatant cruelty, it is easier to realize this and easier to get angry, although the consequences are severe. But to get angry at a parent who, for example, “laid his life on you” (although it would be better not to lay down his life, but to live it, his own life and take care of the child out of love and according to needs) - here it’s more difficult... It’s very important here to realize that all parents, all of them, are imperfect. Every parent has their own story and their own limitations. And our task is not to judge the parent, much less stop loving him - but to realize what the child was not given in childhood and how he had to cope with it. What deficits did he carry into the adult world? Yes, sometimes it is important to allow yourself to get angry at your parent - this is the only way to separate your responsibility from their responsibility. Understand that a small child is a priori less responsible for himself than his parents. The role of a child involves vulnerability, dependence, and an urgent need for love and care. All these needs are ideally met by parents. Or it doesn’t satisfy, and a person grows up with unsatisfied or insufficiently satisfied needs for love, care... It is critically important to recognize these needs and deficits! Only later can you understand what exactly was stopping the parents, what their own story is. Understand, forgive.