- Molla, tell me, why do some people go in one direction, and others in the other, and everyone moves in different directions?- Well, think for yourself, because if everyone huddled together in one part of the earth, would it stand? No, of course, I would immediately capsize! (Sufi parable) Let's return to our small list of feelings (for those who have forgotten, you can see an incomplete list of feelings in the previous article, re-read it again. I think that I will not be mistaken if I say , that, reading this list, you mentally sort all these feelings into “bad” and “good.” This happens to us automatically, as if by itself. Why does this just happen? For example, indifference, like you. do you feel about this feeling? I think it’s negative. Situations immediately come to mind when we (or ourselves) were told about this feeling: “This is outrageous, he was so indifferent in this situation” or “She was indifferent to my experiences.” "You may remember another phrase like this. And for some reason the person immediately feels ashamed that he behaved so insensitively, he feels guilty that he was not attentive to the other! Is all this familiar to us? instilled and instilled in childhood. This is easy to understand when a person just comes into this world, there is still much that is incomprehensible and unknown to him, and parents try to make his first steps in this world safer, more acceptable, and easier. Unfortunately, we very often take these words on faith, and sometimes our parents, for fear that we will make many mistakes, forbid us to check the accuracy of their words. And now we have become accustomed to living according to learned rules; on the one hand, it’s easier, it seems that we already know what to do in a given situation. On the other hand... Why should everyone in any situation always be attentive to others? Maybe at that moment the topic that was touched upon in the conversation was not at all interesting to us, or the person with whom we were supposed to sympathize was completely indifferent to us. But we, guided by the long-learned rule that we should be attentive to others, waste our time and pretend that we are listening carefully or want to be pleasant to those who are not at all interesting to us. For what? So that others don’t judge and say that I’m an insensitive person?! But then, stepping aside, we will scold ourselves and blame ourselves for wasting our time pointlessly on something that we didn’t need at all. So, is it so bad that we are indifferent at some point in our lives or at some point specific situation? Maybe this feeling tells us that this is not the person I need in my life, or that I need this time to do more useful and necessary things for me? Now try again to refer to the list of feelings. Sort them into the usual “bad” and “good”. Well, with the good ones everything seems clear, we all like them and evoke positive emotions. But try to work with the “bad” ones. After all, if this feeling comes to a person, it means he needed it for something. Feelings don't just come out of nowhere and go nowhere. They warn us about what we need at this particular moment to make us feel more comfortable and happier. Try to write opposite each such “bad” feeling that it can tell you something positive in a certain situation, for example, the way we did it with "insensibility". This time you will have to work longer on the exercise and waste your precious time. Why longer? We are already so accustomed to the opinion that these feelings are “bad” that sometimes we have difficulty finding their rational side, their usefulness for us. But I think that this time will not be spent in vain. After all, these are our feelings that tell us something and warn us about something. It is only important to hear and understand what it is about. Remember that you spend this time on yourself and for yourself. In my opinion, the goal is worth the effort!