From the author: Lecture by A. Langle. Today we have a very difficult topic - the experience of despair and powerlessness. This theme poses the question: how much meaning does life still have? How can one come to meaning and a good life if a person is powerless and in despair?I Let's start with the question of what despair is. Have I ever experienced despair before? If a person is desperate, he feels constrained. He no longer sees a way out, does not see a solution. For example, a student notices: tomorrow is the exam, but I no longer have time to read the entire textbook. This can lead to feelings of despair. Or a person is sitting in a car that gets stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the airport. Time is running out, and unless some miracle happens, he won’t make it on time for the plane. In such a situation, you can also despair. Or a person built a house and fell into debt, which keeps increasing. He finds himself in straitened circumstances, he may fall into despair. When we have a feeling of despair, it is always accompanied by this feeling: I can’t do anything more here. In despair, we always also experience powerlessness. As long as I can still do something, and something leads me to the goal, despair does not come. Despair comes when we notice that it is too late. That I'm in an already sinking boat. That the misfortune has already happened. If some misfortune has already happened, it destroys what is valuable to me. If a flood washed away my house and everything I owned, if my child died, if I experienced violence, bad attitude towards myself, if there are constant quarrels, abuse in my relationship, if I led a life that led to bad decisions (separation, abortions, alcohol, use of force), then how can I continue to live? My life is broken, it is filled with suffering, suffering and more suffering. A person begins to think about suicide. A desperate person is close to suicide, because everything that is available, that represents support, value, breaks down. Either it's already broken or I'm watching it decline and disappear. I feel pain when I see the things that are important to me, the people I am attached to, being destroyed before my eyes. Or am I standing in the ruins of a destroyed life. There is no longer any hope. What else could it be? There is no future, everything is destroyed. There is no present, the present is ruins, an abyss, or it is destructive. And I myself have no opportunity to intervene and do something, make a decision. I have no choice. I come close to the wall. I am powerless.IIThe opposite pole of despair is hope. If I have hope, then there is life. As long as I have hope, all is not lost. Some kind of turnaround may occur, because there is still good: the house is still standing, the relationship is still being lived, the child, although sick, can recover. A person hopes that the diagnosis he was given is not cancer. A person hopes that he will soon find a job and the salary will help pay off his debts. But hope and despair have similarities. Although they are poles, they have the same structure. If I hope, then I also experience something like powerlessness. When I hope, it means: there is nothing more I can do. I brought the child to the clinic, I take care of him, I am next to him, the doctors do what they can do - and no one else can do. And yet I can have hope. How is this possible? When I hope, I am connected to the child and his life. And I will not give up a relationship with this value. Although I just sit back and can't do anything more, I maintain my connection. I remain active—paradoxically. I wish for the best. I still have a little bit of trust. Having a hope attitude is a very smart attitude. In hope, the misfortune has not yet happened, and in what has not happened, there is still no complete certainty. Something unexpected may happen, and the safest thing is to believe that a turn is not excluded. It is possible: that the child will recover, that I will passexam, that I do not have cancer, that I will find a job. Only facts rule out the possibility. Hope is directed towards the future. I hold on to my desire, to my intention that something can be good. I remain true to this value. It is important to me that the child is healthy because I love him. That is, I remain in a relationship, in connection. I hold this value high in my hand. This happens on the basis of reality - it is possible that everything will still be fine. Hope is an art. This is spiritual art. In the face of your own weakness, instead of falling into powerlessness or lethargy, you can do something else, namely, not give up your relationship with value. Moreover, “to do” does not mean external doing. This is a matter of internal attitude. III Between hope and despair there is another concept that is close to the concept of despair, namely: “give up.” When I say, “This no longer makes sense,” then I am giving up value. But this is already a somewhat depressing state. When a person gives up, he no longer has hope. I let the values ​​go their own way, I no longer expect anything, internal indifference arises. Thus, a person comes to the absence of relationships. While in hope I continue to hold on to what is important and valuable to me. In this indifference there is still a little support - while a person does not yet fall into the abyss of despair. In despair, it happens differently: in despair, although I am already in the abyss, I, as in hope, remain connected with value, I do not want refuse it. Therefore, I have fear, panic that everything is destroyed. Despair does not mean that I have given up. A person who despairs is a person who hopes. This is someone who is still connected with values, who wants the child to get better, so that the exam can be passed. But unlike the hopeful, where there remains the possibility that everything will still be good, the desperate person has to see that the value to which he holds on is being destroyed or has already been destroyed. Those who despair experience how hope dies. What is important to my life, what my life holds on to is being destroyed. Despair is pain. That is, the despairing person is condemned to see how the value that is important to him disappears or has disappeared, and this throws him out of his internal fixation. Therefore, the despairing person has the feeling that he is falling into an abyss or is already there. The Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard thought a lot about despair and experienced it himself. For him, despair is a wrong internal attitude. This internal disorder comes from outside, from something else. Kierkegaard expanded on this and connected it with God: he who does not want to live in harmony with God despairs. Speaking from a psychological point of view, we can say that despair means “to have no hope.” This meaning is clearly visible in the Romance languages ​​(despair, désespoir, disperazione, desesperación). Without hope, I lose connection with value, thereby losing my supporting soil. And then my life cannot come to fulfillment. This is similar to what happens in fear. In fear, we experience the loss of the soil that supports us. In hope, this soil is the love of value and relationship with it. Despair also has the structure of fear. Despair has a structure of meaninglessness - because there is no longer a context that could give me guidelines. Despair also has the structure of hysterical loneliness, when a person loses his relationship with himself. That is, all supporting structures collapse in despair. The abyss of existence opens up. Fear arises. What can I start doing with my life now? Despair always has the characteristic of misfortune, misfortune. Life is in trouble. A person does not despair of happiness. And despair is never just mental - it is always a feeling that completely captures me. It's a feeling of powerlessness, a feeling of not being able to move on - although I would like to continue. I have not yet given up my intentions, but fate and circumstances are cutting me off from thisgoals.IVPerhaps each of us is familiar with the feeling of powerlessness and despair. When was the last time I was in despair? Why did I feel despair? Does this match the way we described it here? Despair is a terrible feeling. In desperation the soil is truly destroyed. We'll come back to the topic of despair a little later, but for now I'd like to look at what powerlessness means. This is important because powerlessness creates despair, without powerlessness despair does not arise. The word "powerlessness" means that I cannot do anything. But still, this is not identical to the expression “not being able to do anything,” because there are many things that I cannot do, even if I wanted to. For example, I cannot influence the weather, politics, or my migraine. I can do something about it indirectly, but not directly. Impotence means “not being able to do anything, but wanting to.” I want to, but I can't do it. And there are two reasons: on the one hand, these may be circumstances that do not allow me, and on the other hand, the reason may be connected with me. I want something, I wish for something. When I renounce volition, desire, then powerlessness disappears. We see here some doors that open up opportunities for us to do psychological work. Where do we experience powerlessness? We experience it in relation to ourselves. For example, I may worry that I am powerless over an addiction I have, or over a tumor that is growing, that I can't sleep, or that I have migraines. I may feel powerless in relationships with others: due to the fact that I cannot change the other person, that the relationship is taking a terrible turn. But I would like to have a good relationship! And now I’m in a relationship, like in a prison: I can’t change it, but I can’t break up either - although I’m constantly hurt and devalued. Or I can be powerless in a family in which there are constant quarrels, tension and misunderstandings are growing. I’ve already tried everything, I’ve said everything, and nothing changes. Of course, we also experience powerlessness in large communities: at school, in the army, in a company, in relation to the state - here we often have the feeling “I can’t do anything”, we get used to it. We experience powerlessness in relation to nature, when floods and earthquakes occur, and in relation to economic processes, and in relation to changes in fashion. Powerlessness - when I am locked in some place, in an elevator, even worse - in a burning car. Then fear and panic arises. It arises when I feel like I am being torn apart by life. If I am controlled by instincts (for example, pedophilic feelings), and I constantly worry that I cannot curb them. I am powerless over the depressive feelings that come to me. I am powerless when I feel alone, hurt, hurt, alienated. Or when my whole life is experienced by me as meaningless. What should I do here? Let's look at the opposite pole again at this point. The opposite pole is “to be able”. What is "to be able"? “To be able,” like powerlessness, has a double structure: “to be able,” on the one hand, depends on the circumstances that allow me to do so, and on the other hand, on my strength and my abilities. Thus, the world and my own being are connected here. In “to be able” we always relate to circumstances, and therefore for “to be able” obstacles can arise from the outside (for example, I got stuck in a traffic jam and could not arrive on time for the lecture). But obstacles can also exist within. For example, I, unfortunately, do not have the ability to speak Russian. This makes me a little powerless because I would really like to know Russian. Of course, I could have learned more, and then I could have brought myself out of this powerlessness. That is, “to be able” largely depends on my strength and abilities, which give me a certain power so that I can control the circumstances. If I have learned to drive a car, then I can control it. “Be able” has enormous existential meaning. “Can” not only connects us with the world, but also reveals to usspace to "be". In this space I can move. If I'm rock climbing, I can climb the highest wall. If I can swim, I can swim in the sea. And if I can sing, then I can come into the world of music. The more I can, the wider my world. The real “can” is always associated with “leave.” That is, what I can, I should also be able to leave it. To leave is the basic “can” of a person. To be able to let be. “Be able” to let my feelings, my fear be, so that I can deal with them. But the prerequisite is the ability to leave them, to let them be. I must be able to take pauses, breaks - and during the break I leave my activity. I should be able to interrupt, stop doing something if I can’t and don’t know what to do. To leave is a basic, fundamental “to be able.” VI A desperate person cannot leave. What is the problem with powerlessness? Why is powerlessness filled with suffering? Firstly, powerlessness makes us passive, it paralyzes us. Strictly speaking, it does not paralyze, but compels. We feel that something is forcing us to do nothing. That is, exactly where I could do something, I am forced to do nothing. Powerlessness is obsession, it is strength, it is power. It's like rape. I should leave, but I don’t want to - and that makes me a victim. This is, in its purest form, being given to something. It’s as if I’m standing naked in my existence. Secondly, powerlessness takes away from me the basis of existence - action, the fact that I can do something. In powerlessness, I can no longer form or create anything, I can no longer be somewhere, I cannot experience relationships. I cannot realize what is important to me. I cannot realize values ​​and be a participant in the creation of meaning. I am no longer in powerlessness - although I am still here. My personality no longer develops, the meaning of my existence is no longer lived out. Thirdly, powerlessness takes away my dignity. When I am a victim, I lack dignity and worth. It’s as if I’m being pushed aside, and situations are closing in on me. Powerlessness is fused with despair. This combination gives despair the same structure as trauma. A serious injury, which is what trauma is, the experience of approaching death for which you are not prepared, has the consequence that a person is thrown out of his internal fixation. It is losing ground and values ​​are losing their power. A person no longer knows what is important to him. He does not see a larger system of relationships in which he can trust. The same thing happens with despair - but not with the same degree of intensity. Despair is like a premonition of injury. Despair has a deep basis. In despair, connection and correlation with what ultimately carries a person is lost. You no longer feel that there is something that still holds you. Basic trust is missing. A person does not feel the basis of being, does not feel the deepest. This is something we cannot grasp, but we experience it. In despair, the sense of the deep value of life - the basis of all values ​​- is also lost. Does life still have any value if I despair? It is no longer felt, no longer felt. Also, one does not feel the deep value of oneself. Does my being a Person have any value? Does it still make any sense at all? These are moments of fixation in the depths of existence, which represent its spiritual meaning. To conclude my thoughts about despair and powerlessness, I would like to draw attention to two reasons that lead to them: 1) a person is too strongly fixed on something, focused in in relation to some goal and some value that he cannot refuse, leave, let go; 2) there is no relationship with a deep structure of existence. There is no feeling that something else is carrying you, no sense of the deep value of life, no sense of one's own depth and one's own worth as a Person and the meaning that embraces everything.VIIThis analysis of the causes of despair and powerlessness provides the basis for help. Instead of continuing to frantically hold on, grab onto somethingwhat was valuable, I have to say goodbye and be able to leave it. Let it come, come. In despair over the disease, due to the fact that it turned out to be cancer, accept it. Yes it is. And see what I can do with it now. Without coming to this “being able to leave”, a person will remain in despair. We will talk about this in more detail later. Then we can work to begin to feel the deep structures of existence again. So that I can experience again that ultimately something is holding me back. That death is part of life. And that I might as well die. If I cannot die, then I will be in despair again and again. Here I would like to quote Viktor Frankl's thoughts on despair. So far we have looked at despair in terms of subjective experience, while Frankl adds the aspect of meaning. Frankl does not so much look at despair through the eyes of the subject who experiences it, but strives to look at it from a different height. He creates a short formula for despair. So far we have said that despair is powerlessness when a person continues to hold on to some value. Frankl has a different definition: for him, despair is suffering without meaning. And what does he see as the cause of despair? He says we must differentiate between sadness and despair. For example, if a woman wants to have a partner, children, and she does not have this, then, of course, this is probably sad. And this can also turn into despair - but only when this desire becomes absolute. When the fulfillment of life and the meaning of life are made dependent on the fact that what I desire happens. When this value turns into the only value of life: for example, life is only life if I have a family. I will quote Frankl: only the person who deifies something, who puts something above all else, can be despairing. And this is an existential exaggeration, because there are many values ​​in life. We have already said before: in order to be able to face despair, you need to be able to leave. And Frankl says that - yes, one must be able to leave - but also be able to refuse. If a person cannot refuse, then he is in danger of falling into despair. Because if I cannot refuse, then I frantically clutch at something, then for me something is absolutely important, and this is already an absolutization of some value. But all human values ​​are relative. Only a believer can say that there is an absolute value - this is God. And then Frankl introduces another figure into the theme of despair: despair can be overcome in the context of meaning. That is, despair can be counteracted not only through “being able to give up” something, but also through sacrifice. “Sacrifice” means: I give something of value for even more value. And in the religious sense, ultimately - for God. And here Frankl turns to Scheler’s philosophy. A person places himself in a certain order, a hierarchy of values. If I can sacrifice something, then I recognize that there is even greater value than what I sacrifice. This is something more than “giving up.” Both refusal and sacrifice are associated with the fact that I acquire even greater value - otherwise this is masochism. For example, if someone decides to stay with the children, to be with the children, to give up their goals and desires, then this can be understood as a sacrifice - I am doing this for the sake of my children. Then they are of greater value to me than my desires and needs. It is very important that this should be a voluntary decision. It needs to be felt and felt this way, it is not done under pressure. If a person does it with such a feeling and with such an attitude, then he knows why he does it. He does it for the children, and therefore he does not have to despair that he has lost or wasted his life. Thus, if I can give something for even greater value, despair does not arise. In this regard, Frankl quotes the following phrase (which can be looked at critically, but I will quote it with pleasure, because I think it canprompt us to some important reflection): “What I sacrifice retains value.” Let's say I save money and don't spend it because I'm greedy, then money has no value. Only if I can spend them, give them away for something else, then they acquire value. This does not mean that what I hold has no value. But the idea that by giving away something I can give this act even greater value is an interesting thought that contains a lot of dynamics that opens up great prospects. VIII In conclusion, I will say a few words regarding the practical side of the topic. If a person cannot do anything change, if he can't do anything of value and doesn't see the point, what else can he do? Frankl said that in the face of meaninglessness and powerlessness, we can still do something. We can change ourselves. We can realize the values ​​of attitudes. Despair was familiar to Frankl. In such an extreme situation as being in a concentration camp, where he could die at any moment, where he froze and walked in open shoes in the snow, where he was beaten with the butt of a gun, where the soup was boiling water, in which peas were floating, where it was cold, fleas, lice, where he experienced so much suffering - all this is close to despair. And a couple of times he came to despair. If it weren't for other people, he would have given up. He almost gave up - he didn’t want to live anymore, but other people picked him up. And that's why we need other people. We all need other people. We can't do everything alone. We say that if I can't change anything else, I can try to change myself. If I no longer have freedom, I have the freedom of my attitude, my position. And here two important questions arise: 1) How will I experience my suffering, which makes me despair? I can scream, cry, swear, drink alcohol, run away or be quiet, talk to myself, to others, maybe pray. There are different forms. Nothing determines us in this. We may sometimes be unable to change suffering, but we can shape our relationship with suffering and how we deal with it. This creates a little freedom.2) Not how will I suffer, but for whom? Who do I enter into a relationship with if I take it upon myself? It could be my loved ones: I can do something so that they do not suffer even more. For example, not to constantly disturb them and not to demand something from them, because I can’t stand myself anymore. For my own sake: so that I don’t have to be ashamed of myself, so that I can look in the mirror more often. Maintain the way I lived, self-respect. For the sake of life. Out of gratitude for the right to live. For the sake of the parents. Out of gratitude that they raised me, that they loved me. Shouldn't I love myself? If I let myself fall, it would be against the love of my parents, it would go against this. Or for the sake of God, if I believe in Him. I can also take on this suffering for Him. And here there is something of sacrifice, of giving something to another. What else can we do? From a psychological point of view, it is important that if we are desperate or are dealing with a desperate person, that we or he can talk about our despair. Even if you just talk to a person about despair, it will bring him out of the state of passivity and victimhood, at least a little. If you listen to another person, then a relationship arises, which means he is no longer alone. And self-distancing in relation to the problem arises. This is the important part. And the next is in-depth work. It's about working so that this “being able to leave” can arise. We can work with themes of despair and powerlessness in terms of the 4 basic structures of existence. Here I will briefly mention the central concepts of each structure.1) If there is despair in connection with some kind of force, violence, then we are talking about helping the person, supporting him in accepting this situation that cannot be changed, and was able to hold her. Accept means “I can let it be.” Such an attitude is only possible for me if I look at what