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From the author: I continue to publish fragments of my book “How to save a family or when is it better to get a divorce” - family life cyclesFamily life cyclesWhat life cycles does a family develop in? Let's try to outline conditional time periods, which, of course, are not universal, and in different families may differ in periods and course characteristics. But the general trend, or, as they say now, a trend can still be traced. When a couple begins to live together, they enter the first cycle, which we will call the honeymoon. The honeymoon has a sweet taste, is colored gold and is viscous to the touch. A crisis occurs when the sensations become cloying or the supply of honey runs out, and therefore the couple has to switch to a bland, ordinary diet. But the aftertaste is still very pleasant and is often enough for a year of sensual tone and romantic feelings for at least one of the spouses. Thus, the honeymoon smoothly turns into a romantic year. This period is full of creative sexual experiences, euphoria, idealistic expectations from each other and this is associated with the synthesis of the substance phenylethylamine in the body. This state later becomes less excited and begins to be supported by the hormones of happiness released into the blood - endorphins and enkephalins, which slow down their action and bring us back to reality in an average year. And then there comes a decline in the positive energy of the family. Serious disappointments and grievances come, plans and attitudes towards each other are adjusted. The so-called “grinding in” without love-hormonal anesthesia already causes pain, discomfort and exposes the ineffective scenarios of previous relationships brought into the family, weak communication skills, and the inability to make concessions and compromises. And yet the feeling of euphoria still continues to act as a pain reliever. Although with each new showdown its effect decreases. A crisis of romanticism sets in and is replaced by optimistic realism. Optimistic realism usually lasts about three years. This period is also full of positive things. Only instead of enthusiasm and naivety, there is a growing faith in the best and hope that everything will be fine if you try and find mutual understanding. Sexual relationships are losing their former brightness and sharpness, and now it is no longer easy to surprise a partner with some intimate delights. Hot passion is replaced by the cozy warmth of the hearth. At the same time, eyes are opened to many of the spouse’s shortcomings. Irritation appears towards something that previously caused admiration. The stereotypes of the past life are being broken down, new, family-wide rules are being formed, and this process is sometimes uncomfortable and painful. The birth of a child also serves as a test of feelings, often causing jealousy, resentment, alienation, and claims on the part of one of the spouses. Optimism gives way to skepticism, and by the seventh year of life the family often experiences a period of critical realism. This latest crisis in the family can be explained by an excess critical mass of mutual claims between spouses, or by the sacred number - seven, which marks a new stage, and in Pythagorean numerology corresponds to the desire to know and realize the future. The number 7 corresponds to Prometheus, whose name means “one who thinks first.” (By the way, the brother of Prometheus is Epimetheus “thinking after”, to whom the number 1 corresponds and, perhaps, that is why in the first year of life the future is not realized, but rather is felt in emotions, which contributes to its idealization.) So, in the seventh year of life The spouses finally turn on their heads, take off their rose-colored glasses, and bring a magnifying glass or magnifying glass to their eyes, which magnifies the detected flaws. There is an excitement to look for the partner’s weaknesses, to attract problems, and then many couples experience a systemic shift from a positive perception of each other to a negative one. Over time, criticality decreases, life goes on, joy and optimism return. But on the fifteenth anniversary of family life?

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