Often a person wants to become someone else, trying to run away from himself. Asking each time the question of how to change yourself, how to stop being yourself. Some even come to therapy believing that it will help them become someone else, completely change themselves. Others even begin to build castles in the air, deceiving themselves and trying to split off the old part of themselves, nihilating, as if all past experiences do not matter and they happened to someone else. But in the course of therapy, it turns out that you cannot escape from yourself. Splitting and denying the past self ultimately does not work, the person simply walks in a circle of self-deception, slowly killing his own ego. Trying to appear and behave as if he is someone else, as he wants to appear, building a grandiose narcissistic facade and hiding behind it all the pain and despair of an empty, destroyed house. Psychotherapy is not a magic pill that can make someone out of a person another, which can correct hated qualities and replace them with something more “prestigious.” Basically, fantasies of running away from oneself and becoming someone who is not inherent in people with a narcissistic personality type, who find it difficult to admit and cope with their powerlessness, helplessness, with the possibility of being or appearing weak, defective, because their ego is already so weak that It is dangerous to admit this weakness and you will not have enough strength of your own. Therefore, the only way out that they see is to become not themselves, to become another - an ideal image that was omnipotent, in fact, to become a parental object that has something that they do not discover in themselves. Letting go of the fantasy that you can become someone who is not you is too difficult and painful. And those who have strong narcissistic qualities tend to avoid confronting pain and frustration. Like babies whose mother does not give her breast. They are helpless, and the only thing they can do is scream with the rage that overwhelms them in order to destroy the object that frustrates them and call on the omnipotent mother with breasts. During therapy, the realization often comes, if the frustration is kept at a bearable level, that from you cannot run away from yourself and become someone else and someone new, and you cannot cut off the old, but you can live with it, you can process it and accept it, subordinating it to yourself and your desires. It is not necessary to run away from yourself, perhaps you should just look at parts of yourself from a different angle, because a person who is lost in himself simply does not see any other way out and walks as if in a circle, between three pine trees - not seeing what is behind them a whole new world is hidden. The problem of running away from oneself is often common in the modern world, due to many different factors, including the peculiarities of the formation of object relationships with parents, the prerequisites and attitudes of the society in which a person was born and raised. The inner conviction that a child is not as he should be, that he should become someone else, takes root and carries through his entire life; such an attitude can be nurtured by the parents themselves, that the child did not live up to their hopes and expectations, that he grew up in the wrong way. So. Rejection of parts of the child by parents creates unbearable frustration and the need to escape into the fantasy that you can become someone who is not you, a more successful, brave, stronger part of yourself. That you can separate, cut off and destroy your bad parts and annihilate the bad object that destroys from within. And the task of therapy in this case is not to help a person become someone qualitatively different, but to change the way he interacts with himself with internal objects, to help find a common language with good representations within the psyche, so that negative objects stop poisoning and nihilating the Ego. And create an environment for restoring congruence and mutual understanding between the Ego and the Id - between desires and the personality itself. In some cases, strengthen and grow the ego to the point where it can exist and move on its own without the support of others - through connection with the therapist’s Ego, through connection with one’s own good objects,.