Our type of attachment is formed in childhood (based on the child-parent model of relationships) and it can also only be changed in a relationship. Anxious type. Such people acutely lack self-confidence, they need approval, and painfully doubt their partner’s feelings and their own worth. Their perception of others is like: I’m not ok, you’re ok. Usually they subordinate their own desires to the needs of their partner. They cannot stand distance in relationships; they idealize their partner against the backdrop of their own devaluation. The danger is that this type clings to unnecessary intimacy, sacrifices everything - just not to be left alone. Avoidant type. There are two types of avoidant attachment: avoidant-dismissive (I am ok, you are not ok) and anxious-avoidant (I am not ok and you are not ok). Such people give the impression of self-confident people, emotionally restrained, may seem arrogant, independent, for whom relationships are not a value. Even when creating relationships, they often use sarcasm as a defense against intimacy; they can ridicule and criticize relatives and others. Such people have experienced strong devaluation of their own feelings in the past. Often they become workaholic in order not to face mental pain and fear of intimacy. They are successful in their careers, but trusting relationships do not develop. Reliable type. The healthiest type of attachment, the formation of which requires a stable connection with a loving parent. They see themselves and others according to the type: I am ok and you are ok. Relying on the acceptance of loved ones in childhood, such people grow up with healthy self-esteem, able to support others and take care of themselves. They do not avoid intimacy, but they also do not cling to it: they know how to forgive and admit mistakes, support and ask for help, compromise and, if necessary, defend boundaries. The type of attachment is formed by the age of 5 and determines further choices of partners for close relationships. Traumatized types can change by creating relationships with secure types. The trick is that people are looking for a style of relationship familiar from childhood in a partner. The depth of the injury may vary. A relationship with a psychologist in therapy can help you understand your attachment type and form a healthier type.