So I wrote the word “treason” and directly felt the coldness, indifference, and resentment emanating from it. In fact, it is more appropriate to use it not in love relationships; it is too strong and serious, not to say scary. Treason to the homeland, betrayal of one's word, betrayal of friendship, betrayal of oneself... And what we are talking about - our grandmothers and great-grandmothers used to call it "adultery", then they said "romance", then simply and facelessly - "connection".. .Probably, most of those reading this post have encountered such a situation in their lives (or in the lives of loved ones), or maybe they themselves have experienced it. But is infidelity in love always tantamount to betrayal? And what can be considered treason? Different cultures have different ideas about this. When we talk about cheating, the first thing we think about is sex. But the very concept of infidelity can be interpreted more broadly. For example, someone considers simply romantic correspondence on the Internet to be a manifestation of infidelity (64% of men and women). For 53% of people, cheating is simply sexual attraction to another person, for 49% it’s a regular meeting without any intimacy, for 36% it’s just flirting, and for many, communicating on a dating site is already equated to cheating! In every subculture and even in Every family has its own idea of ​​what can be called treason: for example, having four wives and concubines in the Arab world is normal, but there are strict restrictions there too... And in a Swedish family, visiting a swinger party, for example, is not considered treason, but even such a family has its own boundaries. When infidelity arises between two partners, most often the offended party (usually the “subordinate” - we talked about this) begins to look for evidence that it is HORRIBLE, that the world is collapsing. So what happened? Option 1. The person left you, he felt bad being around you, he made a choice, the tragedy did not happen suddenly, at the moment of his departure, he most likely took a long time to make a decision. This is not CHANGE, one of the famous people said: “I don’t cheat, I just stop loving.” He just realized that he loved another person. Or he doesn’t love you, but he feels bad when you’re around. And he left. To no one. To nowhere. Option 2. One-time sex on the side. Got carried away. Momentary weakness. Meaning nothing to him. He didn’t leave, he didn’t even think about it. Option 3. The person didn’t promise you anything at all, he spent time with you pleasantly, maybe he was eyeing you. Or maybe the period of falling in love and passion did not turn into something more, into spiritual intimacy, into love-friendship. He realized that he was mistaken and admitted it honestly. You didn’t even have time to tell each other that you love...or he didn’t say. And this is also not betrayal. Option 4. You expect loyalty and constancy from a reckless reveler, a womanizer, an irresponsible person, you had the imprudence to convince yourself that he will show constancy in your relationship with him. But is it possible to hold back the wind? They say about such people: a walker! Option 5. Love didn’t happen to you at all. We got together for other reasons (domestic problems, boredom, loneliness, unplanned pregnancy). And only everyday life and habit bind you. But you want love, understanding, tenderness... Option 6. You don’t have sex at all (this happens even in marriage!) or it’s bad. Or the partner goes into a homosexual relationship... I have listed options where it is inappropriate to demand fidelity from the partner from the very beginning. After all, LOYALTY is not a merit, it’s when it doesn’t even occur to you to change, it’s about great true LOVE! In general, initially hoping that your partner is tightly chained to you is a mistake! Nothing holds but love. Sometimes - children! Sometimes it’s a duty! But this is not about love. This desire to hold on at any cost comes from childhood, when my mother left me (in kindergarten, at home, went to work, on business). And we dreamed: when I grow up, I get married (get married!) - and my husband (wife) will always be with me, never leave!!! But this is an illusion that this is “mine”... We smother in our arms, dissolve in it, lose ourselves. After all, one of us will die first anyway (and in love, understanding this is unbearable!). And we are not ready, how